Mind of my Stroked Brain

I was recently watching something on TV regarding strong man. Involved someone pulling a plane with their hands. There are many others similar I have seen in the past - lifting very heavy stuff, lifting a very heavy stone, lifting and throwing a log , etc. etc. In my younger days, I did regular exercises and played sports to be strong. I think it was not exactly to be strong but not to be and feel weak. I can't recollect any incident where I have been picked on or bullied to feel that way, but somehow it was always on the back of the mind that I shouldn't be or become weak. Over years, the sports came down but was replaced by gym, yoga, etc . After my stroke, there were many many things to deal with but this was a significant one first up - to feel weak. To accept I am weak. Lying in bed not able to move a finger ... I was thinking about this a lot after, what is strength?   I am very sure there are many definitions and everyone will also have their own - this is what I thought

Giving a like has become quite ubiquitous nowadays - across platforms and media. I have even used it in e-mails sometimes. WhatsApp had resisted for a while until they succumbed to it short while ago. We have a handful of options there as well. Emoticons are everywhere in every platform - several of them to express every possible emotion. But are they really? I feel emoticons have actually stripped us off the ability to actually convey an emotion. I have done it several times and continue to do so as well. But why am I doing it? When I give a like 👍🏼, what am I actually liking (in whatever). Shouldn't I convey what I liked instead of an emoticon. What will the receiver understand? I sometimes have done it as a "consolation prize". "I don't know what I like but I want you to see that I liked it when you count the likes!" Sometimes I have done it as a social pressure (social media pressure actually). "Well, everyone will know otherwise - I better like i

On some occasions, I have referred to body, brain, mind etc., and sometimes in 3rd person. Some of you have remarked what it means. So I am trying to clarify. Hopefully it will make sense. ____________________ Disclaimer : these are my thoughts and only my blah blah blah... That's true but not entirely true. I watch stuff all the time from philosophers, spiritual folks, science stuff, medical stuff, modern thinkers, etc.  I will be lying through my teeth if I claimed independent and uninfluenced thoughts. I just don't know how much is my own and who has influenced what. I can only say, if it resembles somebody else's views - it probably is. So assume it is that person saying it; in my words (hopefully that is not plagiarised too). ________________________ The way I have experienced these, I think we have the following entities: mind, physical body, energy body, brain, feelings/ emotions. Why I look at them as separate things, is because one triggers the other and can almost

I have always been a "man of few words". My mind saw in pictures. When someone described something, it first converted itself into a picture/ a diagram/ some sort of depiction in my mind so I could understand better. When someone asked me to explain something, I would ask for a paper and pen so I could draw something. At work, the whiteboard and marker were my best friends. I was also particularly good with imagining things in 3D. It's probably why I loved 'Engineering Drawing' when most hated it. "A picture spoke a thousand words" to me. And then the stroke happened. And I was left with only the "thousand words"... I struggled to befriend it. In the early days, it was an impossible thing. Everything in my head was pictures - and I had to translate them into words. Not just words, but very short and simple words - with the morse code first and the printed keyboard after. I had to be very frugal with words. It was a nightmare. I hated it. Then

 Most scriptures say it in very esoteric terms. I have never understood it. It's not that I have not understood it intellectually, but I have not been able to comprehend it really. Who am I really? Am I what is conferred as a role Am I what I think is my status... Am l what I own... Am I my experiences... Am I my body... Am I my mind...  Definitely not the first 4 of those... It's definitely not my body. It doesn't listen to me anymore. Sometimes, without realising, I catch myself referring to it in 3rd person... Some things, I don't want to think about or in a certain way, but I find myself thinking the same. My mind is not listening to me many times. I honestly don't know what the "I" is. Is it feelings/ emotions? If that is true, I am only interacting with everyone through the same medium... Irrespective of what they are, who they are, etc. Everytime I interact with someone, what feelings and emotions do I invoke... End of the day, how everyone responds

Sometime back, I had written about my 3 Gods. Its only fair to tell you about the 3 devils as well. I refer to them as Devils and not Demons. The demons are inside my mind and make an entrance, once in a while, in various types. Almost always they bring out the Devils as well. The Devils are hyenas. They hunt in a pack and all 3 of them come together. After the stroke, like many other things, I can hardly control my emotions. Something can trigger a bout of laughter and i won't be able to stop. Equally, many things set me off crying and i won't be able to stop. Sometimes, it goes on for so long, that after a while, I wont even remember what I am crying about in the first place, but I just can't stop. Some days I can't help but feel overwhelmingly sad and down for the general state of things in my life. I know, I know, I shouldn't think like that and count the positives. It is , akin to giving someone a medicine but they can't think about Monkeys while taking it