Mind of my Stroked Brain

Disclaimer :- these are my thoughts based on my observations. They are not backed by research or medical proof. Take it with a pinch of salt... _____________________________ This is not a recent observation but observed over the past 4+ years. I have not been able to make sense of it for a very long time and after I processed it in my head, I didn't know how to express it and write about it... Giving it a shot now... ________________ When I drove the car/ rode  the bike, I have always been very bad with directions and orientation. And I am a "man" - so I wouldn't stop to ask for directions either. And I was not slow either... Net result was, i usually over shot an exit, hit a dead end, etc and invariably I would have to take a U turn and go back to get further. When in Australia, my wife would be struggling to let me know the directions with a big and bulky map book only to witness the U turns anyway (these were the days when Google maps were not yet in).  After I had

Disclaimer : every stroke is different (even if they are called the same name). The impact to someone physical / mental is even more different for everyone. What I have said here is my case, my stroke, my experience and my thoughts. Don't generalise it and compare. However, it might be similar (not same) that many might be experiencing.so, hoping it will help... _________________________________ It is a phrase I have have heard from many in the last few years after my stroke - by doctors, physiotherapists, SLP therapists, family/ friends/ well-wishers everyone. " Use it or lose it " - generally applicable to every function of the body, but more specifically for this context, it is the muscular action getting atrophied/ wasted and lost if we don't keep making the movement. Basically the brain  eventually loses/forgets the connections of neurones firing because of prolonged absence in doing so.  It is not like I have not heard of it earlier, but like everything else, it

When I sit on the wheelchair in the evening, I move my right leg a few times. The leg will be lying lifeless. I can't feel it or move it initially. I have to lift it a few times using my left leg and move it a few times. It sometimes responds and sometimes not. If it doesn't work, I have to leave it alone for sometime and try again later. At some point it stiffens when lifted. It still doesn't know how to loosen - so have to rely on gravity to bring it back down slowly. After that, very slowly, I am able to lift it a few times - relying on gravity each time to bring it back down. It's a amusing thing to experience and watch happening. However, that is what I can see. The real action and spectacle is happening in the brain actually. When I am unable to feel the leg, the neurons are not connected. The passive movements and the intention means it is causing the neurons to frantically be trying to find a path - running helter-skelter, through trial and error each time. Some

Today is Valentine's day. A good day to talk about the heart.  Something I learnt recently. The head is not the only organ in the body that has a brain - strictly speaking, "thinking" assumed to be attributed to neurons. Turns out there are nurons in the heart as well. About 40,000 of them. There are no other organs in the body (that we know of yet) that have nurons. Of course it may be incomparable to the brain - which has upwards of 100 billion of them. But a nuron is a nuron. However many. The heart and brain communicate all the time through the Vagus nerve; probably one of the most complicated of the nerves we have - as it controls very many major autonomous functions like heart function, lung function, digestion so on and so forth. As with most other things, we don't know what the heart perceives or tells the brain. But it has been shown in studies, when we experience feelings of love, compassion, etc., the Vagus nerve lights up. So the next time you say I did s