Mind of my Stroked Brain

I don't usually follow groups and comments online. I mostly can't - since I don't access any social media sites. Once in a while, I get some click through links from somewhere and I end up reading/ browsing or someone shares something on the group I am on and get to read. I feel the highest rated - like the top oxymoron of the 21st century is "I know how you are feeling". Or a step further "I know exactly how you are feeling". The thing is - nobody can feel exactly how anybody is feeling. Some folks - like minded, similar situations may be able to relate better, but cannot feel (and think) how someone else feels and thinks.  If they have to feel and think the same way, they have to be that person - not sufficient to wear their shoes and imagine. So, by extension, if someone/ anyone is doing something for me, it it the based on what they think and feel and act in the best way accordingly.  If I expect something else, there will be a gap.  The gap is cre...

Few days back, I heard our housekeeper saying that my younger daughter's cycle had become small and needs a bigger cycle.  It's been 4 years since we got this. I remember having taken the girls to decathlon (a big sports goods store) and having got her this one. I think it was a white/ pink combo and she was thrilled with it. Her birthday is less than 2 months away and will make a nice gift this time around. Needless to say, I was quick to get online and do the research and try to select. Gosh, I simply cannot start with all the varieties and options out there. Cycles come with shock absorbers nowadays! No more bumpy rides... There are so many varieties of seats - hard to soft to comfortable to wide to springy etc, etc. And the gear chain mechanism - is a world of it's own. She won't need gears though - it's only mainly around the apartment. Maybe a basket in front will be helpful which she can use for the bag she takes to play. Don't need a carrier maybe. I fel...

I realised today that I have forgotten half my life. If every year is stacked up, I don't mean a horizontal cut of 23 years, but a vertical cut of half of everything every year. I think, when I (or anybody for that) recollect something from memory, there are 2 parts that make up the memory. One I will simply call the 'event' and the other part is the 'feeling'. By feeling, it is not the sensory feeling (which is physical and still the event) but a feeling that is non physical and happens in the mind, during or as a consequence of the event. Ex, you eat something you like, apart from the sensation, sight, smell and taste there is a feeling of joy and satisfaction of having it. I'll take another example. One of the first things I usually did in the morning was brush my teeth. I remember exactly what I did. Brush in the right, paste in the left, squeeze, rinse the mouth and brush for about 3 minutes before rinsing again. I actually remember the order in which I use...

This thought was triggered by a conversation I had with my wife. To be accurate, a conversation my wife had with me. I had made a video - a sort of collage of photos for my daughter's birthday. It was a fun video. However, making it took a while. Except for the last 3 years, I have a very very huge archive of photos. So I looked through every one of them over many many days, selecting and shortlisting them. During all those days, It brought back memories of all those times all those years. The memories evoked all kinds of emotions - Joy, happiness, sadness, deep sense of loss, etc. Dealing with those emotions and feelings took more time than seeing and shortlisting the photos. We humans have evolved over millions of years. How and why are debatable, but the debate of millions of years has been put to rest. It has been about 200 years since photography was invented and a little over a hundred years for the video. A couple of thousand years of getting portraits painted before that (a...

 Most scriptures say it in very esoteric terms. I have never understood it. It's not that I have not understood it intellectually, but I have not been able to comprehend it really. Who am I really? Am I what is conferred as a role Am I what I think is my status... Am l what I own... Am I my experiences... Am I my body... Am I my mind...  Definitely not the first 4 of those... It's definitely not my body. It doesn't listen to me anymore. Sometimes, without realising, I catch myself referring to it in 3rd person... Some things, I don't want to think about or in a certain way, but I find myself thinking the same. My mind is not listening to me many times. I honestly don't know what the "I" is. Is it feelings/ emotions? If that is true, I am only interacting with everyone through the same medium... Irrespective of what they are, who they are, etc. Everytime I interact with someone, what feelings and emotions do I invoke... End of the day, how everyone responds...