20210925 : Cyclic process...
Many folks have remarked to me that I have become very pessimistic and don't acknowledge the small progress I am making. I understand how it looks from the outside. Eg, when I started slightly moving my limb, I was not willing to accept that it was voluntary and not an involuntary movement. It was not possible to fake it. There are even videos to show and prove to me what I was not admitting. Few days back, my wife observed me sitting and remarked that I was sitting with my back more straight than earlier. Today, I simply struggled to sit, let alone straight. It was not that I was feeling weak or tired in my back, I had no clue how anymore to have control over my back to even try. The other day, my balance was so off, that everytime they propped me up to sit, I was feeling a strong pull, for no reason, and simply falling to my right side. So, when someone says, I am able to sit for sometime, without support, how am I supposed to affirm the same... Even if I know I can do it someti