Mind of my Stroked Brain

I have not written in a while. No particular reason. Just didn't feel like it one day and stopped. Many may call it a "writer's block". I don't know if that is what it is. I understand writer's block as struggling to get substance to put down. I was not struggling with that. Vague thoughts come and go all the time. Some in my opinion, might be interesting or amusing to share. However I was not getting the will for it. I don't know what happened. There is nothing specific I can attribute it to. It's not like I am depressed or have lost general interest etc - I have been doing stuff and keeping myself occupied. Yet, somehow this was not happening. Anyway, what was I upto generally. Watching a lot of podcasts (videocasts I guess) on YouTube. I realised it is a treasure trove for information. I used to struggle earlier for informative and reliable content. In this day of diverse information, over information, misinformation, disinformation etc. Anything I ...

During this rehab, I have encountered two kinds of effort. Effort of the mind and effort of the body or muscle. When we do something, it is very hard to discern the difference - because they happen together. Instantaneous! Ex, we usually think we want to move the hand and it instantly moves. It is absolutely difficult to discern that we first had to think of it and that thought caused it to move. This is a voluntary action - it is practically impossible to realise it for autonomous actions. Ex, swallowing, voicing, closing the nose when we blow, etc. However, with my case of the stroke and consequent condition, the two have been very very amplified. Sometimes there is as much as a 2 second gap between my thought and causing the action - however little. It is extremely effort intensive and draining to do it. I have never managed to sustain the effort or intention or will beyond about 2 seconds. It is not like thinking of something - like many times said in meditation. To focus on someth...