Mind of my Stroked Brain

One of the very first and very hard things I had to deal with after the stroke was "letting go" . I am not talking only about attachment to things, pretty much everything. Out of all this, the hardest was letting go of "preferences"... Preference for so many things. What I wanted, what I liked and mostly how I wanted things to be done! I didn't consider myself to be very pedantic with many preferences or a "micro manager". Once I couldn't speak, or move and influence how things were done, boy was I in for a surprise! I pity the folks who worked with me earlier... That was really very hard. Letting go... pretty much everything if I had to put the mind to some semblance of rest. It is coming back gradually on some matters as my ability to convey (written of course) is getting better. I have to keep reminding myself to avoid falling into that trap... Can't say I succeed everytime... I was thinking about it though. Letting go of things is a natural

I don't think I have really understood before the stroke what it means or does to your state of mind when you loose you ability to do things which i used to do so comfortably, confidently and took for granted..  Sure when i came across someone with an affected ability, i was compassionate and empathetic, but i truly had never understood as it was only an intellectual understanding and the real feeling is not possible to explain. While i was thinking about this, I realised that it's not only stroke or any other ailments, but very true for the process of getting old and frail as well. Its the same thoughts and feelings and getting dependent on others for things which once you could do..  Memories of younger days must come to haunt everytime.. So, when old aged people are stubborn, difficult, unreasonable or any other adjective, they are not acting crary, i imagine they ARE going crazy dealing with this emotion/ feeling. It's very hard for stroke patients because of the sudden