Mind of my Stroked Brain

We arrived at the destination. I could see my wife, my friend, my cousin and my nurse. It was not home ground but familiar turf. Good to have familiar faces on the team batting with you. Getting to the emergency department - its like going into the jungle. Leeches instantly start sucking the blood, an insect pricking your fingers to see if you are sweet and tasty, the serpent on your arm, with its tight stranglehold, being ripped of your clothes, the pulling of the thorns - taking stock of your heart, etc Then being spread on the flat stone - to see how photogenic your lungs are, etc I am familiar with this adventure. They removed the tshirt i was wearing and instead of the gown coming on, they closed the screens and made the bed flat. Then off came the shorts i was wearing. I can't lie flat but I didn't care , it would take a few seconds anyway. Instead of feeling the fresh garment on me, i could hear the rip to remove the diaper. Now, I am in the flat position. I can't li

I had gone for a check up today to the hospital. It was an endoscopy test.  Tube with camera goes through the nostril, through the nasal cavity and down to view the throat, Vocal folds etc.  Usual stuff. No fuss there. The fun started after. The doc suggested we do a "Barium swallow test" so as to confirm something before recommending next course of action. Instead of doing the whole exercise of going home, scheduling again and coming all the way again, it made a lot more sense to finish it off the same visit. Some checking and they confirmed we can be accommodated today. So we went to another floor another department. That place is a maze. We need Google maps to find our way anywhere. After getting there , they said it's a quick test. Except I needed a covid negative report. The option was going back or get their rapid test. Logic prevailed again.  Except, we had to go to the emergency department for it. Different floor and some more playing in the maze. It took a while,

I have had a bascilar stroke 2 and half years ago. I'm bed ridden and no movement on right side and very limited movement on the left. So in diaper. I was on catheter for first 5 months. Later on, moved home and catheter was not easy to manage. For a few days, it was just diaper with change every 2-3 hours. In a little while, I realised I could feel the pressure in the bladder and I could ring a bell to indicate I have to go so the nurses could give urine can. So the change every few hours stopped. Although I could feel the need to go, there was no ability to control. I usually had 20 seconds from the feeling to passing. The feeling came every 2-3 hours. And about 400ml each time (i am on peg feeds so only on fluids also). There has been no difficulty passing and no urinary infections till date. However, over time, the frequency has increased and I need to go every 1.5- 2 hours and tolerance has reduced and the nurses have to react faster. Off late, maybe 2-3 weeks, it has become d

I ve hesitated to send this note. Worried its not dignified (for the reader, i have none anymore). But it is a big part of my everyday life and struggle, so thought I'd share it anyway. Almost all stroke survivors face some degree of incontinence after. I'm no exception. The degree is different... From the time of the stroke, i have been unable to pass motion. My wife has tried various permutations and combinations of foods, fibers, ghee not to mention strong laxatives, etc. nothing has helped. I have to rely on being administered enema every 3 - 4 days. The chemical in the enema causes involuntary movement and I'm relieved. For more than a year, it was so bad,  the Enema would not even trigger involuntary movements and was no use. Every 2 - 3 days, they had to do, what is referred to as PR in nursing circles. Basically put their fingers in deep, and pull out what they can. It's very painful, but even more uncomfortable otherwise. I am glad enema is working now, so i ca