20220327 : liberation
When I come to the hospital, I think about dying. The isolation in ICU helps. Not mine (well that also), but dying in general. Anyway I as usual worked up the mind about what has become, the physical struggle etc etc and finally got to the same ending. How to end it!. After several permutations and combinations same result. I can't see it through. Not now. Definitely not alone. So I wondered who would help me. Nobody I can think of. I can understand the simple reason. It's classified Suicide. Its not allowed in this land by law. For argument's sake, if the law didn't restrict, could I enlist someone. It's still next to impossible. it is labelled "Suicide". Suicide is "bad" Everything from God to fear of bad karmas will stop anyone from helping. From what I understand, anything related to God and karma and rebirth is because everyone wants to have a better chance at liberation. We have taken it as truth - whether read from books or spoken etc. B