20220203 : the pinch...
Yesterday, during the bath in the evening, and when I was made to lie on the side, I was pinched on my buttocks. It brought to memory, when I used to get pinched on the buttocks very often in the hospital. I was horrified. I assumed they do such things to patients in my condition. Complete helpless and unable to say anything. It was very demeaning and frustrating and a horrible feeling. Thoughts of such actions done in crowded places to abuse others (women mostly) came to mind and I could feel the hopelessness. It took me a long time to realise that nobody was pinching my buttocks! I had lost all muscle/ flesh and only skin on my behind, and when I am turned to the side and they tuck down the diaper and under-pad, the skin gets pulled because of the rubber gloves they wear and gives the same feeling of being pinched 😂 It was hilarious in my head when I realised it. But the demeaning and frustrated feeling of being abused was real - and gave me a sense of what that feels like to be the