Mind of my Stroked Brain

Whenever anyone visits me, I am asked and encouraged to speak. My family has asked a million times. My vocal chords don't move. I don't get voice most of the time. But that is a simple chicken and egg story. Unless I try it will not move. I know that.  Even more funny is - what do I speak? Whenever I have tried, the word sounds fine in my head. But out comes a sort of a croak. Nobody can understand what I am trying to say. After half a dozen tries, everyone gives up and I am exhausted. It is very easy when someone asks me to say a word. Still it is a croak that comes out - but since they know the word already. Irrespective of how it sounds, it sounds better as they already know the word. It is the same with predictable sequences. Like 1,2,3... Or a,b,c... Or January, February, March... Etc. They all sound intelligible - while I am still saying gibberish. But if I don't speak gibberish, it won't sound any better. I know that too...   Most times I put on 2-syllable or 3-s...

Why i drool so much. I am asked to swallow my saliva and not spit out.. even if wanted to , i wouldn't be able to spit..   When the saliva is secreted, some of it comes to the front, depending on my position. What goes back to the throat ,i try to swallow most of it. But what collects in the front, well, you need 4 things to suck it back 1 strong lips 2 strong breadth, to create a sucking, vaccume force 3 functioning cheeks, to fold in slightly, to aid the sucking force 4 Most importantly, working tongue, to swipe and bring it back. None of the above works properly today, let alone coordinated way to make it happen. Yes, everyone does it, unconsciously.. Its also why i am able to swallow water and even semi solids doesnt happen. When im in bed, slightly tilted back, water like fluids just flow down to the back and i dont have to do much. However with semisolids, even if i can try swallowing, the stuff just doesnt go back. Hence the drool.. Believe me i know the mess i cre...