Mind of my Stroked Brain

 One of my nurses (attenders) went today after a while.  I have 2  ​" attenders ​"  now instead of "nurses" mainly because  (i) There is no point having a nurse.  There is nothing to nurse anymore. Just need someone who can keep the lights on ​... (ii) Nurses are much more expensive than an attender.  ​Nurses usually have a Degree in nursing, maybe experienced, at ease  GNM degree (General Nursing Management)  Attenders  ​on the other hand,  are usually 10th/ 12th pass, untrained and ​ usually  having some compulsion (mostly economic) to agree to do something like this job.  Anyway, getting one is not easy. It is a very quasi-organised industry and very chaotic at that!  There are many many sources (agencies) and it is very easy to get an attender, but getting someone who  ​" clicks ​"  and stays a while is very very difficult and usually takes a miracle. When an attender leaves from here, it is usually a re...

Every afternoon I struggle. I am fed some fluid (juice or soup or just warm water) orally. They give it in a small spoon, not full, just half spoons. It may be about 3-4ml each time. However, I am unable to swallow it. It invariably goes into the wind pipe, causing a violent cough and struggle and most days I am unable to withstand it and we stop after a few spoons. For an effective swallow, 1. The morsel of anything (called bolus) needs to be encapsulated and pushed back and down into the throat (pharynx) 2. At the same time, the nasal cavity is closed off to prevent stuff from going into the nose. 3. As the bolus comes down, the lungs have to hold the breath and vocal folds (or vocal chords) needs to close so as to close the wind pipe. 4. The epiglottis (another soft tongue like muscle) seals off the wind pipe fully. 5, the entrance to the food pipe (circular muscles called sphincter in the upper oesophageal cavity) needs to open up to allow the bolus to get in. 6. At this time, the...