20220110 : craving
My earliest memories of deep craving was just after the stroke in the hospital. It was peak summer and a very hot. (Not that I could feel any heat but by how everybody was reacting and talking about it). I was struggling to even swallow a couple of drops when everyone was glugging down bottles of water. I was parched. They used to give a bottle with every feed. It used to be neatly stacked on the table in front. I now know I was not feeling thirsty. I haven't felt thirsty in 3 years. There are no feelings in my throat. It was just the mind's craving to want to drink water. I haven't felt that craving for food. Maybe because everyone was careful that I don't see it. I could hear description of foods from the eateries around and what was swiggyed etc. But I didn't feel that craving as could neither see or smell anything. Now, I have numbed the mind to water and sight of foods enough and I don't feel anything. However some strong smells I can get when I am sitting ...