20211223 : imaginary problems
When I was in the hospital after the stroke - maybe 2-3 months after, I could move my left palm. I used to indicate that they, anyone, had to keep my legs apart (shoulder width maybe). I don't know if anyone knows why. It was probably another one of the ocd behaviors. Well not really. Anyone wearing a diaper will know how uncomfortable it is to keep the legs close together. But really did I feel uncomfortable? I have had no feelings there for a very long time. Initially when my neck was not able to lift the head - I couldn't even see the body when lying down. Even now, I am able to feel very little. So I was not feeling anything. I just knew that it would be uncomfortable and I was feeling uncomfortable the way I thought it must feel uncomfortable. Now, I can see and also feel a bit. It's still uncomfortable. But it's a different uncomfortable. This is what the body is feeling and not the one the mind is making up. I am fed every 2 hrs. If it gets delayed for some reas