20210924 : Visitors
After I had my stroke, I was in the hospital for something like 5 months. That limited visitors a lot. Even then, with whatever limited head movement I had, I made it abundantly clear (well atleast so I thought), that I didn't want to see anyone. I couldn't avoid a few very close friends and family, as they were doing much for me and for the family to help us I don't remember for how many months this lasted. I think it was some sort of shame. I think I was very ashamed of myself. For what had happened and everything that was going on around me. I don't know why it felt that way, but it did. It was like I wanted to run away... After sometime (again I don't know when it started and how long it lasted. Same for subsequent ones), I still refused to see anyone. I think it was some sort of embarrassment. I knew how I had been earlier. I remember seeing myself in the mirror in rehab. It wasn't pretty. I was very embarrassed to present myself to anyone that way, not if