20211025 : What am I really..

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 Most scriptures say it in very esoteric terms. I have never understood it. It's not that I have not understood it intellectually, but I have not been able to comprehend it really.

Who am I really?

Am I what is conferred as a role
Am I what I think is my status...
Am l what I own...
Am I my experiences...
Am I my body...
Am I my mind... 

Definitely not the first 4 of those...

It's definitely not my body. It doesn't listen to me anymore. Sometimes, without realising, I catch myself referring to it in 3rd person...

Some things, I don't want to think about or in a certain way, but I find myself thinking the same. My mind is not listening to me many times.

I honestly don't know what the "I" is.

Is it feelings/ emotions?

If that is true, I am only interacting with everyone through the same medium... Irrespective of what they are, who they are, etc.

Everytime I interact with someone, what feelings and emotions do I invoke...

End of the day, how everyone responds to me is a mere reflection of how I interact with them..

How I feel as a result, might rub off on my "I"...

What will remain is how others feel when they think of me.

After all, after I am gone, how I feel won't matter anymore anyway...

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