Mind of my Stroked Brain

 My first encounter with a computer was in middle school at one of my friend's house.  It was almost a miracle to have a computer in ​I ndia in those times ( ​19 80s).  My friend's father was connected to IEEE and I am guessing the computer was importable through that connection. We only played games on it occassionally ( ​games of those days -  Packman, F16, Nascar, Mario, Prince of Persia, etc.) I don't remember how much storage memory capacity it had ​.   I think it had only 512KB of RAM  and a 5¼" floppy disk drive (I think they came with a max 512KB of storage capacity). I vaguely remember once they had got Autocad and it came with 95 of those installation floppy disks! This was DOS ​O perating system - ​i.e., big CRT monitor  screen ​s with green characters (think ​ of the Matrix movie) Anyway, the first time I really interacted with a computer was in engineering, around 1993, I think. We had a subject called Fortran (Formula Translation) - whi...

  ​I am a ssuming you are a human reading this...  Typically we believe in the following 2 (main) things: 1. Category 1:  We (humans & all life on Earth, for that matter) started as single celled organisms several million years ago ( ​We  don't know exactly how - just assuming it was a freak incident of nature). Anyway, since then, through further accidents (mutations) over several million years, we developed into various species and evolved to what we are today.  Now ​, why evolution decided that every living entity has to die (& not live forever), I don't know. However, as each species evolved, it decided to cap its life tenure and that life must end. For us humans, typically ​that limit is  75-90 years nowadays.  So there is no real purpose to life. We take life by chance and die ​ eventually since evolution has baked it into us. That 75-90 years is not even a flash in the pan on the universe's timescale. 2. ​Category 2:  Life has a g...

 " I love you "... ​ What does it mean? I am aware of what it means generally. We are familiar with those words commonly in many contexts. This is a debate and deliberation I have been having in my mind for some time now. We can love people - our parents, siblings, spouses, children, family, friends, etc. We can love animals - dogs, cats, all forms of pets. Or generally be an animal lover overall. "I Love all animals" type... Or, we can love things as well - so many times we have heard "I love my car", "I love my bike", "I love my house", etc, etc. ​ But what does it mean? I feel this (and I am sure there will be many other perspectives and interpretations) I cannot really simply say "I love someone" and leave it at the level of words. My love towards someone can only become real if I find ways to express my love towards them. Expressing love happens in several forms - care, affection, attention, concern, sacrifice, adjusting,...

  In 28-July-1914, Austria-Hungary declared war against Serbia for a reasonably local issue. This event is officially regarded as the start of world war 1.However, there were many other things happening making the world a tinderbox ready to ignite before this. Geopolitically, There was escalating alliances & rivalry like - Triple Alliance (Germany, Austria-Hungary, Italy) - There was the Triple Entete ( France, Russia, Britain)There was the Balkan crisis (Austria, Hungary, Russia)There was the Moroccan crisis , etc. Geoeconomically, There was the imperial rivalry b/w France & Britain regarding dominance of Asia & Africa and their resources/ riches. Rivalry b/w Britain & Germany for naval supremacy for trade leadership. Capital driven pressures on society and unrest . Hangover from military conflicts, Japan's victory over Russia Decline of the Ottoman empire affecting central Europe Severe arms buildup amidst many of these nations. World war 2 had diff...

 Recently, I wrote that I am living on the edge everyday between going on v ​/ s giving up. It probably can also be interpreted as the edge of remaining sane v ​/ s going insane... Anyway, I have often wondered, when everything is looking so bleak to the mind's eye, what makes me go through the day and make it to the next day. What is it that is causing this? Is Love what is giving  ​me the  strength? Love is a very fashionable word in my opinion. It is very easy to say we love someone. It is equally applicable to our love towards people, animals and things. In my opinion, Love gets manifested to reality with care and affection. That's how our love is expressed. Sure, I love my wife, children, family and friends. Everyone to different extent ​s  depending on the degree of closeness or separation. But it has been many many years since I have really expressed any love through care towards anyone. In the initial period of the stroke, I was very very desperate to want t...

There are many challenges and limitations that I face everyday, to just get by the day. I am not unique in that aspect. There are 100s of thousands of people who face challenges and limitations everyday.  I think it is the element of "hope" that is different. I am guessing (& I might be wrong ​ here ), but I feel somehow there might be an element of hope for some improvement  ​in the future  that  ​ p ​ropells  most to go on. I am guessing it might also be the situation with very elderly individuals who have an unexpected mishap/ accident and impacts them  ​ severely .  ​e g , consider an elderly person in ​, say -  their 80s, reasonably independent ​ otherwise ,  ​but  having an  ​unexpected  accident ​/ fall breaking their back/hip. It will be very severely limiting. Given their age, they will inherently know (I am guessing ​ again ) that "hope" and probability of recovery is very dim. That's very very demoralising and di...