Mind of my Stroked Brain

I loved food. Any kind as long as it was vegetarian. It has been that way ever since I have been a kid. I don't remember me fussing to eat anything. This was only passive consumption. For almost a decade before my stroke, the love for food xhanged from passive consumption to active experience and experimentation with food. I used to love cooking - especially without any recepie and just try various things and see how it turned out. I loved entertaining and feeding others as well. For the past 4½ years, I have been having only fluids through a tube - initially it was a ryles tube through the nose and almost 4y afterwards through the peg tube to my stomach. When I had the stroke, after coming out of the disoriented and confused state, one of the first things for the mind to come to terms with was not being able to swallow and consume anything. Water, food etc. Not even my own saliva. It was very disturbing to see others eat foods, gulp down water, have a hot cuppa, etc. After sometim

My earliest memories of deep craving was just after the stroke in the hospital. It was peak summer and a very hot. (Not that I could feel any heat but by how everybody was reacting and talking about it). I was struggling to even swallow a couple of drops when everyone was glugging down bottles of water. I was parched. They used to give a bottle with every feed. It used to be neatly stacked on the table in front. I now know I was not feeling thirsty. I haven't felt thirsty in 3 years. There are no feelings in my throat. It was just the mind's craving to want to drink water. I haven't felt that craving for food. Maybe because everyone was careful that I don't see it. I could hear description of foods from the eateries around and what was swiggyed etc. But I didn't feel that craving as could neither see or smell anything. Now, I have numbed the mind to water and sight of foods enough and I don't feel anything. However some strong smells I can get when I am sitting

I used to eat eggs most of my life. Started as a boy on advice by the doctor - needed the protein as I used to play a lot. Eggs were not allowed in the house then. I initially started having it raw with whatever I was having then - nutramul or maltova or some such thing. I hated it and stopped/ refused to have it after a while. Later, it was ok to be cooked outside (backyard). So tried boiled eggs (separate utensils for it of course). I was ok with it, but only just. Used to have it as a necessity - like medicine. It was many years later that I had an omlette (plain I think) and I liked it very much. Much later, I would really enjoy a big omlette with veggies, toast with butter and a cup of coffee on the side. Sometime in 2017 I think, I stopped eating eggs. I had no aversion developed. It was not religious as well. I considered eggs as vegetarian as well. So I don't remember the reason exactly.  Maybe because I did a lot of Yoga and felt it didn't help flexibility I think. Any