20220320 : efforts and fatigue
During this rehab, I have encountered two kinds of effort. Effort of the mind and effort of the body or muscle. When we do something, it is very hard to discern the difference - because they happen together. Instantaneous! Ex, we usually think we want to move the hand and it instantly moves. It is absolutely difficult to discern that we first had to think of it and that thought caused it to move. This is a voluntary action - it is practically impossible to realise it for autonomous actions. Ex, swallowing, voicing, closing the nose when we blow, etc. However, with my case of the stroke and consequent condition, the two have been very very amplified. Sometimes there is as much as a 2 second gap between my thought and causing the action - however little. It is extremely effort intensive and draining to do it. I have never managed to sustain the effort or intention or will beyond about 2 seconds. It is not like thinking of something - like many times said in meditation. To focus on someth