Mind of my Stroked Brain

I feel, every type of place evokes certain types of feelings. It also makes us think a certain style. Ex, we can be at a school - and feel one way.  Or be at an airport - and feel different emotions. Similarly - hospitals. Our behaviour changes, we speak softer maybe, a little more sensitive to how others may feel - perfect strangers. We won't usually feel that way if we saw the same folk in a park. It usually evokes very deep questions about things too. When we see somebody else suffering, we think what would I do in that situation. We find some answers. Convincing or otherwise. Of course, few hours later, the scene changes, emotions change, mood changes and that train of thought gets derailed and fades. Of course I have the luxury of being in the space. And the luxury of time. In the ICU, its even more stark. Nobody is allowed to disturb us. No phones, no TV, no nothing. You only have the company of thoughts. As this is a hospital. The destinations for the trains are already set....

I have had many kinds of teats after my stroke. The ones I remember the most is referred to as the MEP test . I underwent it 4 times I think. Thrice when I was conscious and could know what was going on and once when I was in la la land still. That was initially when I was in the ICU and hadn't yet come back to reality. That particular time, I was convinced they were harvesting my organs as part of some racket. I wanted to get out of that place asap - I didnt yet know I was in a hospital. The last one I think was November end last year. I want to describe this test, mainly because it was always done in the ICU and unlikely anyone from family or friends would have seen it. The test was what it was. I have described it the way I experienced it. The MEP test - Motor Evoked Potential test. I think it is to check how much of the signals from the brain propagates to the limbs. I don't know how many places they do it. Anyway, it had to be done only in the ICU - I guess just in case t...