Mind of my Stroked Brain

I am not sure how to convey this. It is pure feelings and very hard to convey in words. Will give it a go anyway... Most of my life, I have been somebody who has been on the cautious and risk adverse side of things. While it has been very handy to do many things, I have seen many drawbacks with it - not being easy on change, scared of eventualitiy, procrastination, etc amongst many other things. I think it is a bit of instinct for self preservation and avoiding risks. Scared for life.  "Living to live", for the lack of knowing how else to put it. After the stroke and many months of wanting to pull the plug or hoping somehow the plug gets pulled, I have realised it is not going to happen. Even if I had the plug in my own hands, I am not very sure of being able to pull it myself now. Over the last 2 or so years, I have seen a change in the mind. I certainly don't want to claim I am not scared anymore and rearing to take risks, but certainly the level of openness to such mat

I got a bunch of responses via messages and online - so I couldn't help myself from preaching - although I have not been very successful in practicing. I am trying, very hard, but not there yet. This has been said several times in online gyan, in frameworks, models, case studies, books, etc. So it is several+1. I have realised, procrastination till the time comes - "deadline dependency", is a dependable motivation for most things. However I have also realised that only "urgent" things get done. "Important" things keep getting put on the back burner. At some stage they become urgent too and will get done. However, I am unable to think it through sufficiently/ plan for things in detail enough/ etc. Things will get done for the sake of getting done basically. The "urgent" and "important" model for "things to do" is nothing new. How we define timeframes (urgency) or impacts (importance) is up to us and will be different for e

After my stroke, from about the last year maybe, I tend to do things quickly. What I can do is very very minimal anyway, but what I am able to do with the help of the phone, I tend to do it quickly. Stuff I would regularly put off for later, for tomorrow, for afterwards usually. Procrastination basically. It's probably the 2 odd years of absolute inability to do anything that gives the drive. Maybe there is also the rude realisation that later may not happen, tomorrow may not come or it may be nothing like I imagined. Whatever it is, I tend to do stuff then and there. I get pleasantly surprised about it and how much gets done (maybe very minimal from a normal person point of view, but quite a bit for my situation and standards). As I said, what I can do is very minimal - but things I would normally put off gets done. I have often wondered why I was not doing this earlier. Why would I lean towards procrastination instead of acting on something. I was fundamentally active and not laz