Mind of my Stroked Brain

When I had my stroke early in 2019 I was in the hospital's ICU for a little over a month. I don't remember if they gave me a bath in the ICU. It didn't matter to me anyway as I was unconscious there mostly and hallucinating all the time.  Later they shifted me to their HDU ward (high dependency unit). It was at the end of a long corridor of atleast another 20-24 wards/ rooms.  That made it miserable!  Why you say? They have very skeletal staff for the night shift (nurses, attenders, doctors, everything). It is the duty/ responsibility of the night shift staff to give a bath to the patients and handover to the day staff.  Usually 1 nurse + 1 attender (ward boy) had the responsibility of giving bath to all the patients of one side of the long corridor.  They did a quick namesake job (ಕಾಟಾಚಾರ ಕೆಲಸ). Even then, it would take 15-20 minutes per patient - disrobe, bath, enrobe, teeth cleaning, etc).  They had to finish this for all the patients before 7:30AM (whic...

Over the years, I have heard about the many worlds that exist, based on upbringing, beliefs, etc. Bhuloka - earth I think  Swargaloka - heaven  Narakaloka - hell Paatalaloka - I don't know what it is in english  etc., etc ... As I said earlier, these are driven by our belief system, upbringing and to a certain extent, also underscored by our religious beliefs. I am sure there are many more... However, I have no real proof for most of them, except earth... Within the earth, I think we live in 5 worlds : 1. Political world  2. Economic world  3. Technological world  4. The planet world & 5. personal world. Again, I am sure there are many more dimensions to cut it into, but these are what I feel we are primarily in. 1. The political world: primarily driven by borders as countries/ nations based on all kinds of reasons - geographical, religious, language, you name it. Primarily driven by ego and power. Whether we like it or not, we belong to one of those pl...

Every once in a while, I watch this video https://youtu.be/U9WOMerccoM?si=7E0I2-VZnaZUNkD- Note : I don't know who has made this video.. it is just a freely available video on YouTube. I am not trying to promote it either on anyone's behalf... I don't know how accurate it is either. It is accurate enough for doing the job for me. Anyway, every once in a while, when I am a bit agitated or overwhelmed or get anxious about something, i watch this video. I cast it on the TV and watch it big for better effect and result. Basically, It reminds my place in the grand scheme of things. It puts things back to the right perspective...

 Couple of weeks ago, I had mentioned about my teeth condition and the possibility that I might have to knock 1-2 as well ( https://mindofmystrokedbrain. blogspot.com/2024/07/20240728- pain-that-can-be-borne.html ). I went to the hospital yesterday for it. You might be wondering why I went to a hospital when I should have been going to a dental clinic for it. ​i) That's because in my condition, there are many emergencies that can happen and a dental clinic is not equipped with all the facilities that is required to cope with such emergencies. ii) More importantly, it is  because I didn't see a dentist but a " maxillofacial surgeon ".  "maxillofacial" - I came across that term only recently. ​  ​ I have always had a limited vocabulary in English... I wouldn't say it was poor, it was just adequate and limited to words used in regular speaking stuff.  I have always wondered what is the necessity of using complex words when we...

Ever since I have had my stroke and became bed ridden, I sleep on a mechanised hospital bed so that I can be inclined and reclined to different levels and heights. It is needed both for me (as my muscles don't support me and I can't get up on my own) as well as the nursing staff to be able to do many things needed for my care). The hospital bed, as you may have noticed in hospitals, has a mattress which is made of rexine upholstery (usually blue in colour - I don't know why). It needs to be a non absorbing upholstery to be able to wash/ wipe the mattress clean as it is very common to soil it for bed ridden people who are in diapers. That makes it hard unlike usual mattresses. Most importantly, I have been lying on an "airbed" on top of the mattress since my stroke, the airbed is also a very common feature for bedridden people (especially strokes like my case). Since we have absolutely no ability in our muscles on the back, waist, hips, etc., we can't turn arou...

I wrote sometime back (a while back actually I think) that I used to have a very good teeth set but it has become more like a shark teeth set after the stroke. (https://mindofmystrokedbrain.blogspot.com/2021/11/20211125-my-teeth-set.html) One more effect of the stroke was that I couldn't open my jaw much for almost 3+ years. I could Max open my mouth 1-1½ cm. So for all that while I have not brushed my teeth. Though I was not consuming anything orally, i still used to have a mouthful of secretions from the lungs and the saliva. All of this would become a thick fluid because I can't swallow. Imagine it stagnating for hours together. Apart from the small of a septic tank, the other thing is what all this stagnation would have done to the teeth. From about 6m back, I have been able to open the mouth wide enough for a toothbrush head to sneak in (the electric toothbrush). I still can't open it wide enough to reach the back of the molars but I can get to the front of them  Recen...

 Yesterday, a very good friend of mine had come home. We studied together in college.  While we were talking (rather she was speaking and I was mostly nodding along 😊), we realised it was 30 years since we went to college. It doesn't feel like that at all. I can remember some of the days/ incidents very clearly like it was just yesterday.  Same thing happens regularly when I think back of many things scattered all over the duration of my lifetime.  When we realised that it was 30 years ago, we also joked about our own ages now and we were getting old.,  I have similar moments when I see my daughters. Sometimes when I see them do something, It hits me that they are fast growing - and inturn I am fast growing old as well...  But am I?  As I mentioned, everything in my memory feels like yesterday or last week.. I feel very young as well and don't seem to realise I am almost 50. I think our minds are ageless. Over time, with many circumstances and experie...