Mind of my Stroked Brain

I have been in this state for 3+ years now. I have been unable to do much , but try to overcome the feeling of uselessness by doing something or the other, what I am able to, using the phone and online. It is probably superficial but helps to a certain extent to get over the feeling. However, the really low points I feel is when someone else in the house falls ill. Ith inability to do anything to give care, comfort and help in any way is an absolutely useless, helpless and hopeless feeling...

When we consume something, if it is cold we can and do gulp it down. If it is nice and warm, we chew it a few times and then swallow. If it is very hot - we sip it slowly or we spit it out if it is too hot to handle. I think it is nature's way of moderating the temperature amongst other things.  Chewing or sipping will bring down the temperature quite a bit in the mouth. When the swallowed food or drink goes down the oesophagus, it further cools down. When it enters the stomach - it is "Goldilocks" right temperature. With a peg tube direct to the stomach - that moderating function is lost. It's about a foot length, but rubber/ synthetic material and a heat insulation material. The nurses are very careful - the feed is tepid ( almost body temperature) and it is not discernable. Once in a while, it is a notch cooler or hotter. It is very distinguishable because the stomach reacts. It handles a drop in temperature alright - but can very much feel the cool fluid settling

I have a temporary nurse currently. My usual nurse is on leave for a few days. Today the temp nurse got a call from the agency confirming her next duty. She looked a bit tensed after the call. So I asked (with my usual indication) as to what happened. She told me her next duty will be for a 1 year old. The baby is still in hospital and will come home in the next couple of days. I don't know what happened to him (or her - I don't know), but he has a trachiostomy (tube in the throat for breathing) and I am guessing a tube for feeding as well. She has worked with adults with these tubes but an infant is a very different ball game. I have had a tracheostomy for a while. It was a horrible experience. I still have a tube for feeding. It doesn't bother me much now as it is direct to the stomach. I don't know if they do a peg to small infants. It will likely be a tube running from the nose through the throat all the way to the stomach for feeds. I have had that too - for about

I was recently in the middle of a conversation/ discussion/ debate. The key point was many if the well known books by well regarded people/ gurus/ wise folks whatever you wish to know them as. The point was - most of the time (generally speaking), these books are very wise, practical, informative for upwards of 90% of the book and there is usually about 10% of the content which is leaning towards miracles/ fantastical stuff/ unbelievable things. For rational and practical thinkers, this 10% is hard to digest and invariably the whole book (although most of it is very good) gets discredited because of this 10%. Why do wise folks include this content and lose the rational followers? The counter argument was very simple - folks who experienced these things and write about it don't really care wether some folk believe it or not. It is real/ true as far as they are concerned. The discussion went all over the place from senses, perception, meditation, siddis, chakras, etc. It was an inter

I was seeing something on TV today. Something very simple. What is "time" 🙂 Apart from the physics of scientists which I completely understood 🙂, I started thinking. How does the body keep time? Not the short term duration - that is probably a complex mechanism of sun, moon, planets etc (both optical influence and gravitational). I wonder about the long term. How does it know that it should start to let go at some time? Yes, there are theories and scientific information about cells dying, the organs becoming weak etc. But all of them have to know it is time right? They are all probably chemical messages and hormones, but what tells the glands that it is time? Not just us, every single creature comes with this timer. Might not be the same for everyone in the species, but a range nevertheless for everyone. How does it know it is time?

When I started to write, it was very new to me and was via WhatsApp to a handful of very close people. It was more a compulsion - that was the only way I could convey what was going on in my mind. It was a very small group on WhatsApp. After a while, I got some courage and included a few more people. Still on WhatsApp. I had to create a broadcast list for that. This, while it was to share my random thoughts and share what I was going through and thinking, was mainly to generate conversations. I badly needed them. Encouraged by many of the folk, I put it up on a blog. I don't know why I did it, it was a painfully long job for me. I think I did it mainly to prove to myself that I can do it. No bells or whistles - just a very simple one. I knew nobody was seeing it because it gives stats, but for some reason kept it updated. It was just there. Nobody really visited it. Recently, I decided to post it on social media. Simply because I wanted to get a better readership reach on one part

Short while ago, I wrote about the bottleneck for the brain. But seriously, why did we evolve this way? Almost all land animals have a big body, a reasonably big head and a narrow neck connecting the 2, with the head controlling the body. I get the utility of the neck which allows us to look around, but isn't it an expensive trade off to have such a narrow point of failure? What was it on land that it was necessary for us to evolve this way. Most aquatic creatures have no neck - fish, sharks, whales, dolphins, etc - the list is very long. Surely having a robust link between the brain and rest of the body has its advantages. I think the octopus is one of the most neurologically advanced creatures. Its entire body is connected to the brain via multiple links - so much so that it can change colour to match its surroundings without having to see. It basically sees from its skin too. What is it on land that needed us to evolve the neck???