Mind of my Stroked Brain

I am guessing you will have heard of sleepwalking.  (the act or state of walking, eating, or performing other motor acts while asleep, of which one is unaware upon awakening; a condition or disorder) In the past month or two, I have started sleepwalking. Now don't let your imagination wild thinking I get up and go walking about. I still can't walk. So I do the next possible thing for me - sleepchatting! 🙂 Its usually between 2 - 4 am. I know the time clearly as its recorded in WhatsApp. Presumably, I get up, I raise my bed inclination (I can't even hold the phone and see the screen at the angle of reclining I sleep) , I start WhatsApp, I find someone (it's not like I message th 1st person in the list), I message someone randomly. Send a message, recline the bed again and go back to sleep.  What do I message ? Luckily it's completely un-understandable gibberish. I will have messaged a sentence of about 5-6 lines, with what looks like words because the letters are sp

When someone goes through a life transforming event like a stroke, they are a completely different person afterwards. In that sense rhe previous person dies that instance and a new person is also born that instance. Others rarely notice or appreciate this death & birth transformation as its not a physical thing but a mental death and rebirth.  In that sense, I am 5 today!  Born on 6th Feb 2019! When I had the stroke, after I could think properly (maybe 6-7 after weeks), also fuelled by the assurances by everyone around that it's only a matter of 6 months or so, I came up with a 5 year plan in my mind. I bitterly realised soon that planning and such things are out of the window for good. About 6 months later, till about a year and ½, it took a lot to accept the reality and get adjusted to the reality that the previous me was indeed dead. Also, the frame of mind was that I was only dead still and there was no recognition of the rebirth (as I couldn't do anything, couldn't

Some days back, I had written about why i feel the muscles have strands and each of them being connected to the brain separately... (https://mindofmystrokedbrain.blogspot.com/2024/01/20240124-balancing-equations.html) Come to think about it, I am guessing that there are such connections and strands for not just muscles but every part of the body - bones, ligaments, tissues, skin and every organ we have. Thinking about it, in orders of magnitude, it probably is in hundreds of thousands at least (maybe even Millions). Here is the most interesting thing. All of them are connected to the brain through the spinal cord. The spinal cord is about 1cm in diameter. Not only that, not exactly circular in cross section but it is hollow like a very long and thin cylinder. The centre of the spinal cord is filled with spinal fluid. It is not circular, but it's given that it cannot be very big with that cross section area.  What follows is the engineer in me speaking.... Well, the hundreds of tho

It is fascinating to read and understand how muscles work. For all my life, (since I had not given it any thought earlier), I simply had assumed a muscle is 1 muscle. Ex, if we say bicep muscle, it was one muscle in my mind (I don't know why I imagined so, but so it was). The truth is very far from it . Each muscle is made up of hundreds of strands (maybe thousands). And the best part (I have practically understood, not backed by any medical stuff) - is that each strand is connected separately to the brain and not as one.  For mechanical enthusiasts, each strand works like a sort of rack and pinion arrangement, operated by a chemical reaction, triggered by the brain. Each strand has two separate connections to the brain - one to work the rack and pinion arrangement each way (to contract the muscle strand and the other to release it or relax the muscle strand). In short, that's how it achieves any movement. By selecting the set of muscle strands to activate (how many most probab

Couple of days back, there was a "Homa" at my mom's place. I might not be translating right, but a "Homa" is a traditional offering to various deities using fire as the medium for making the offering. Needless to say, it involves controlled fire but a lot of very uncontrolled smoke. Especially because of the offerings, it's very irritating to the eyes and lungs - usually a lot of burning in the eyes and coughing. The intention was conveyed by my mom a few weeks ago since my sister's family was visiting all together after some time and it's an auspicious thing to do. I said ok and didn't give it much thought. Usually thoughts and intentions fizzle away for everyone when it comes to following through with actions. But, she was following up actions and it looked like she will get it done. Few days ago (maybe a week and ½), she asked me in case necessary, will I be ok to get involved in the same only when needed. I usually don't involve myself in

This morning, I was replying to "happy new year" messages on my phone when one of my nurses saw me doing this and said to me: (She is from north india and speaks only Hindi. My interpretation / translation below) "Sir, why do people wish each other happy new year? Every year our remaining life reduces right. They celebrate like they are in Jail and every year their sentence is getting over and they are getting freedom." I am pretty sure she didn't realise the gravity of the truth in what she was saying - for aren't we all imprisoned in our bodies and nearing freedom from it each passing year. Maybe that is what we all celebrate every calendar swap and our birthdays. The anticipation of nearing freedom.... 

It is the time of the year when I get very affectionate emails from everyone... All my bank accounts, my insurance, my trading account, etc, etc. they are all very prompt. Another date on the calendar when they remember promptly is my date of birth. Every place where we can't avoid giving our date of birth. Honestly, after sometime , it's just a change of calendar. (We have not got the new calendar yet, so even that will not change for me tomorrow 🙂) Don't get me wrong, I have had my share of new year parties, get-togethers and fun. Have had fun in all of them. It's just the age and where I am currently, it feels a lot more like "what is the big deal". But, I do know it is a time and an occasion to celebrate, so - I don't mind the fun that comes with it. But seriously, I think I am getting overly paranoid these days seeing talks, documentaries, news, etc. Everything seems to point southwards for society and humanity in general. There are so many issues an