Mind of my Stroked Brain

Im wearing my glasses for few days now... It has reduced the blur on tv and other things, especially with reading subtitles. Not much on the phone because of short sight... Even though all of you are kind enough not to say it to me loudly, i am sure many of you think "I told you so" and i should have worn it long back... I was on glasses all along before the stroke and I would have to be crazy to not know it'll help. The problem was I know how finicky I was in cleaning it and constantly adjusting its position on my nose bridge... The frequent cough dislodging it coupled with my inability to adjust it back would have driven me insane surely by now... So I chose not to.. Its still very painful as i cant clean it by myself. But I'm able to reach up and adjust it.... So...

When we share our thoughts and views with someone, be prepared to accept ther perspective on it. Perspectives are shaped by individual's life experiences. It is bound to be different. Over time, you can put yourself in the other's shoes and almost get a feel whether it might cause pleasantness or unpleasantness in what you want to say. If it's the latter, time to check yourself and try and reword for better reception..

I was chatting with my friend this morning and the subject of kids growing up too fast came up. More importantly kids instead of enjoying their childhood longer, wanting to grow up faster, earn faster, etc. Basically be independent faster... I think it's us adults to blame. In every instance, when we have to deny them something, we tell them they are not old enough to do things, they can do it when they earn their own money, they can do as they please after they are adults, till then they have to listen.. I think it puts a subconscious craving to do things to feel grown up... I think we should be more creative and less practical in our responses, to feed their childhood imagination more and adulthood practicality less. So when do we stop feeding crazy stuff... I don't know. I feel at some stage they will automatically start rejecting these crazy ideas and start probing us for the real thing... That's when i think we know that they are ready for practical answers.. PS: For

I don't think I have really understood before the stroke what it means or does to your state of mind when you loose you ability to do things which i used to do so comfortably, confidently and took for granted..  Sure when i came across someone with an affected ability, i was compassionate and empathetic, but i truly had never understood as it was only an intellectual understanding and the real feeling is not possible to explain. While i was thinking about this, I realised that it's not only stroke or any other ailments, but very true for the process of getting old and frail as well. Its the same thoughts and feelings and getting dependent on others for things which once you could do..  Memories of younger days must come to haunt everytime.. So, when old aged people are stubborn, difficult, unreasonable or any other adjective, they are not acting crary, i imagine they ARE going crazy dealing with this emotion/ feeling. It's very hard for stroke patients because of the sudden

Hello all, Apologies in advance as this will kick up some dust or offend others. But its a thought thats been bothering me for a long time now and rather than avoid it, as i was not coming up with any answers, i thought I should put it out and see if i find something... It's a very philosophical question, but very real and not hypothetical .. When i had my stroke, i was depressed, frustrated, desperate, etc. and hoped everyday would somehow be the last .. just couldn't bear the thought of carrying on... It could have been anyone, i just pulled the short straw... Fast forward 26 months and I'm no longer depressed, or desperate, or frustrated , but the thought of "pulling the plug" remains... Now, its a very rational and pracital question... For more than 2 years i have seen everyone around me struggle. The emotional burden i have become and not to mention the financial ruin i have set everyone in... Of course everyone around me will deny its a problem and carry on.

So, this is on a very interesting note.... I have for the past sometime, observed the malayalam accent (at close quarters) 😊 Even if folks know english (or any other language) well, the accent is so prevalent no matter.. So my conclusion is as follows: What we think as accent change is not accent change at all. They replace few syllables with other equivalents , and i think they do it because those sounds or syllables dont exist in the malayalam alphabet ( their equivalent of swaras and vynjanas). It's like the Japanese. Their alphabet doesnt have the sound "LA" (ಲ) so they replace it with "RA" (ರ) . So something like 'low' becomes 'row'. Similarly i feel these are the 4 main transformations that happens (there could be more, but i feel these are main) 1. 'TA' (ತ/ಟ) gets replaced by 'DA' (ಡ) 2. 'NA' (ನ) gets replaced by 'NA' (ಣ) 3 'LA' (ಲ) gets replaced by 'LA' (ಳ) 4. 'O'/ 'OH' (ಒ)

I ve hesitated to send this note. Worried its not dignified (for the reader, i have none anymore). But it is a big part of my everyday life and struggle, so thought I'd share it anyway. Almost all stroke survivors face some degree of incontinence after. I'm no exception. The degree is different... From the time of the stroke, i have been unable to pass motion. My wife has tried various permutations and combinations of foods, fibers, ghee not to mention strong laxatives, etc. nothing has helped. I have to rely on being administered enema every 3 - 4 days. The chemical in the enema causes involuntary movement and I'm relieved. For more than a year, it was so bad,  the Enema would not even trigger involuntary movements and was no use. Every 2 - 3 days, they had to do, what is referred to as PR in nursing circles. Basically put their fingers in deep, and pull out what they can. It's very painful, but even more uncomfortable otherwise. I am glad enema is working now, so i ca