Mind of my Stroked Brain

 Recently, I wrote that I am living on the edge everyday between going on v ​/ s giving up. It probably can also be interpreted as the edge of remaining sane v ​/ s going insane... Anyway, I have often wondered, when everything is looking so bleak to the mind's eye, what makes me go through the day and make it to the next day. What is it that is causing this? Is Love what is giving  ​me the  strength? Love is a very fashionable word in my opinion. It is very easy to say we love someone. It is equally applicable to our love towards people, animals and things. In my opinion, Love gets manifested to reality with care and affection. That's how our love is expressed. Sure, I love my wife, children, family and friends. Everyone to different extent ​s  depending on the degree of closeness or separation. But it has been many many years since I have really expressed any love through care towards anyone. In the initial period of the stroke, I was very very desperate to want t...

There are many challenges and limitations that I face everyday, to just get by the day. I am not unique in that aspect. There are 100s of thousands of people who face challenges and limitations everyday.  I think it is the element of "hope" that is different. I am guessing (& I might be wrong ​ here ), but I feel somehow there might be an element of hope for some improvement  ​in the future  that  ​ p ​ropells  most to go on. I am guessing it might also be the situation with very elderly individuals who have an unexpected mishap/ accident and impacts them  ​ severely .  ​e g , consider an elderly person in ​, say -  their 80s, reasonably independent ​ otherwise ,  ​but  having an  ​unexpected  accident ​/ fall breaking their back/hip. It will be very severely limiting. Given their age, they will inherently know (I am guessing ​ again ) that "hope" and probability of recovery is very dim. That's very very demoralising and di...

  I have been tinkering with and using AI for a while now.  I have used it for coding, documentation, spreadsheets, market  ​ /stock analysis, asking all kinds of information about facts, processes, events, generating questions and scenarios, etc . Pretty much in almost everything. I have not come back empty handed yet and it is getting better every day... ​ Sure, some things might be incorrect or made up. It can be spotted after a while.  I have recently got promotional access to a pro version of an AI tool and it is even better than I imagined  ​( duh! ​) There will be none (actually, there are none already) reasons to go to a school or college for getting information about anything.  Sure, information doesn't give us logic, reasoning and understanding how and why that information  ​was  arrived at  ​and why things are  that way. It needs something more. There are tons and tons of free content on YouTube and a zillion other o...

I watched a movie last evening. It had a lot of scenes with prisoner torture , interrogation and techniques.  It is something I could imagine as a young boy growing up as " 3rd degree " treatment. It was regularly used to refer to extreme torture for interrogation in movies. Of course, I don't know if there exists anything by that name in real life but it existed in reel life definitely.  So I was thinking, almost all of it involved some kind of physical torture to affect the mind eventually. The end goal is to make the subject spill the beans on something. But we have to get to the mind for it to happen. And that invariably involved some form of physical torture/ abuse. I think I have a better idea. I have a fair amount of confidence it will work.  Take a normal person (the subject) - Attach a tube to their stomach (peg it). Dont give them anything to eat or drink. All the required nutrition and fluids can be given as a badly coloured, ugly looking fluid every couple of ...

Take a typical well accomplished doctor as a professional (in India as an example)... People have to finish ~ 4-6 years of childhood  ​ p ​rior to  schooling  ~ 13 years of schooling (K-12) ~ 5.5 years of M.B.B.S ~ 3 years of specialisation  ~ 3+ years of super specialisation  And a few years of practice afterwards, they will be considered a well experienced and accomplished doctor. Roughly speaking at least 30-35 years. And they probably have to have had a very good track record all through. A Doctor was just an example and is on the higher side. Take any other profession and  ​to  be a good/ accomplished professional, it will take at least 25-30 years, after being born. Point is, none of us ( humans ) are born professionals. Sure, some may have an edge because of  ​their  genetics of being a little more "intelligent" or having a little more "memory capacity", etc.  However, everyone is born with these capacities with a " clean canvas "...

  Let us assume you had a wonderful vehicle. Can be any vehicle - 2 wheeler, 4 - wheeler, a truck with 18 wheels, anything. A vehicle with a good old fashioned IC engine and not the newer EV models  You have had it many years and have had wonderful experiences with it. You have great memories with it.  Let us assume one day it had a very very bad accident and it is completely broken. The specialist mechanics have had a look and haven't been able to do anything to fix it. It is a write off basically...  However, miraculously, the engine survived the accident and is able to run. But, as the vehicle is so absolutely damaged, it just can't ever run  ​anywhere  again ​ and be useful as a vehicle anymore . You can never ever have those experiences with the vehicle again.  Now, because of the good times you have had and can remember, how long will you put fuel everyday and keep just the engine running? It's not an efficient engine anymore. Needs a lot of fuel...