20220110 : craving

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My earliest memories of deep craving was just after the stroke in the hospital. It was peak summer and a very hot. (Not that I could feel any heat but by how everybody was reacting and talking about it).

I was struggling to even swallow a couple of drops when everyone was glugging down bottles of water.

I was parched. They used to give a bottle with every feed. It used to be neatly stacked on the table in front.

I now know I was not feeling thirsty. I haven't felt thirsty in 3 years. There are no feelings in my throat. It was just the mind's craving to want to drink water.

I haven't felt that craving for food. Maybe because everyone was careful that I don't see it. I could hear description of foods from the eateries around and what was swiggyed etc. But I didn't feel that craving as could neither see or smell anything.

Now, I have numbed the mind to water and sight of foods enough and I don't feel anything.

However some strong smells I can get when I am sitting outside on the wheelchair close to the kitchen (we have an open kitchen).

Most strong smells I have become reasonably immune to - like coffee brewing, etc.

The one smell that gets to me, everytime, no matter how much I try to ignore - is Maggie (masala tastemaker)

Probably because it doesn't only bring up the recollection of the food but is also associated with many times from childhood.

Definitely proves the marketing ploy - get them hooked young and they will struggle to get over it after... 

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