20250117 - The Act of Blessing someone...

 One of my nurses (attenders) went today after a while. 

I have 2 ​"attenders​" now instead of "nurses" mainly because 

(i) There is no point having a nurse.  There is nothing to nurse anymore. Just need someone who can keep the lights on​...

(ii) Nurses are much more expensive than an attender. 

​Nurses usually have a Degree in nursing, maybe experienced, at ease  GNM degree (General Nursing Management) 

Attenders ​on the other hand, are usually 10th/ 12th pass, untrained and​ usually having some compulsion (mostly economic) to agree to do something like this job. 

Anyway, getting one is not easy. It is a very quasi-organised industry and very chaotic at that! 

There are many many sources (agencies) and it is very easy to get an attender, but getting someone who ​"clicks​" and stays a while is very very difficult and usually takes a miracle.

When an attender leaves from here, it is usually a revolving door for many days and weeks afterwards. 

• Sometimes whoever comes won't even know it is for a male patient and will be shocked and leave 
• Nobody will know that it is for a Bedridden stroke patient and will be shocked/ surprised at what all is expected and will leave 
• Some will check 1-2 days and understand that it is a lot of work and make some excuse and leave. 
• I have 2 attenders. So there are language issues, personality issues, ego issues, etc., and​ they can't get along ​with each-other and ​one will leave 
• Sometimes, they can't adjust to our "vegetarian" food habits and will make an excuse and leave.
• etc ., etc 

All this only from their side..

• Sometimes I realise they are just unable to do the work 
• Sometimes, even though they can do the work, they treat me badly 
• etc. etc...
• and I ask for them to be replaced ..

In short, it is nothing short of a miracle to find someone who "clicks"

In the revolving door phase, most attenders spend anywhere between 1d​ or 2-3d or 1​ week ​max usually.

When a miracle happens and someone "clicks" the usual timeframe is​ about 2-3 months. After that the revolving door starts again!

Sometimes, someone not just clicks, but their own circumstances lead them to stay for a long time (~6m or 6m+). That is a ​"double miracle​" and very very rare.

In 6y and more than 75+ nurses/ attenders, I have had 4 such "double miracles" 

There is a "triple miracle" as well 

That's when one of the "double miracle" persons leave ​for a break, go home on leave and actually comes back after ​their leave/ break.

I have had 3 "triple miracles" thus far.

The attender who left today has said she might come back and make it a 4th "triple miracle". Let's see, only time will tell...

Most of them, during their time here, don't leave the house and confine themselves to the room I am in. It's not for lack of freedom to go out. In fact I keep telling and encouraging them that they should go out, go for a walk, whatever. otherwise they will go mad. 

As you can expect, they are​ all very young and completely and extremely addicted to their phones. When they are not doing some work for my care, they will be glued to their phones. It is 24x7, anytime I get up in the middle of the night, they will be watching something, playing something, talking to someone, etc.

I personally think they all have a complex - ​a combination of economic complex, social complex, general complex about their looks or dress, ​"what will others think​" complex, etc. many reasons that prevent them from freely and easily going outside.

They are with me looking after my needs 24x7. From brushing my teeth everyday, shaving regularly, feeding me timely every 2h, regular exercises by making me walk, stand, etc., dealing with my urination calls any time​ throughout the day, changing my diaper and dealing with my shit, bathing me everyday, cutting my nails regularly, cutting my hair occasionally, giving my medicines regularly everyday and everything else needed to "keep the lights on" for me.​

Naturally, when someone clicks and stays for a while, I develop a kind of a bond or an affection and a sense of responsibility for them (even though I am the one depending on them). I can't explain that sense of responsibility I feel. Even from an age perspective, most of them are just out of teenage and probably 20-21. Just a few years more than my daughter. 

Many would feel I am exaggerating and care too much for them. ​Truth is, nobody knows what they have to deal with - because most of the very difficult tasks are done with the door closed and no one can ever see. Most (or all) of those things we will never be ok to do..

I in fact, I feel we don't do enough and respect them enough as a society. ​Hence, that feeling of caring/ responsibility.

Unfortunately, it's a demand-supply thing and most who need their service can't afford to do more​ than they manage to I guess.

So, when someone who has clicked and stayed a while goes, I "Bless them" . I literally put my hand on their head and bless them.

I am not someone who believes in it​ - generally speaking. I don't know what it means and translates to.

I am not pretending​ either, ​or acting and putting up a show for them or someone else either.

I am not a Godman, ​I don't have any special abilities or ​​am someone who is qualified by achieving something for it either.

Yet, I don't know why, it just feels very naturally right and I bless them. I don't bless them from my side, I am hoping and asking (​however - God/ Universe / Nature/ Higher powers) for the best life can afford for them in their futures... which, for most of them, is just starting in their early 20s...

Strange. Never thought I would do something like it...