20221221 : love and care

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I love my wife.
I love my kids.
I love my mother.
I love my sister.
I love my close friends.
I love my family.
I love many....

I love my dog.
I used to love my cats .
I love all animals.

I used to love my bike.
I love many other things.

However, there is very little I can do to care... People, animals, things...

Loving is not the same as caring... I know everyone, everything needs caring. I can only express love but I am not able to care .. 

I am not sure if I am right, loving is something I can do for my sake and caring is something I can do for others..

I think as a society we have slowly moved from being a caring society to a loving society..

Everyone loves everything very much but there is limited anyone can care.

I think it is not very individual as well . As a society we have moved to a model of everything being linked to economic success. Stuff like service, fulfillment, contentment and other such parameters don't fit in easily. Even if we want to, the structure of our lives doesn't allow for it.

I don't think it can change easily either. Individual recognition and gradual movement might shift us as a society...

I guess it is worth to pay some attention and recognise "how much do I love something" vs "how much am I caring about it"... 
__________________
20221222 : follow up...

I received a bunch of responses to my earlier message. Many different types and words - essentially implying that love and care are the same... So I was forced to think about it again..

After some further thinking, I have to say, I stand by what I thought and wrote earlier...

I am certainly not suggesting that anyone has to agree with my thinking. Everyone is entitled to their view.

The note below is not an attempt to justify my thoughts but just to convey my thoughts further...

I think love and care is many times used interchangeably because there is a big connect between them.

I think love precedes care (genuine care). Genuine care is possible only with love. One has to love something to genuinely care about it.

Folks with kids will probably get this more than others .
Kids need our love, they definitely do. However, love by itself is not sufficient. They also need a lot of caring. The caring is not forced either, it comes naturally as you feel the love and want to genuinely care. Same applies to everyone else too.. 

I love my dog - in a limited way I am able to express it to her. But loving is not enough, she needs caring - feeding, walking, baths, etc. and when something is not ok, taking her to the vet, etc. Does she enjoy and appreciate the loving? Of course she does. But just loving is not sufficient she needs caring as well. 

I used to love my bike. But what does that mean? The bike or inanimate things can't appreciate love. It needs care. Regular cleaning, greasing, timely upkeep, etc. I have to follow up with caring if I really love it.

I think love is what I need. I can express it, but it is my need. Caring is other's need. Do others don't need love? Of course they do. Everyone needs to be loved, but love alone may not be sufficient. They/ it may need care too.

I can love 10 things equally, but I may not be able to care equally for everything - due to various constraints. Very valid and understandable constraints. .

I almost feel love doesn't need much from us but caring requires some form of sacrifice. It is not a forced sacrifice, but a sacrifice nonetheless. As simple as our time, to effort, energy, finance, freedom etc. 

I don't think we can care (genuinely care) without loving. However, I can love without going the distance and not follow it up with caring... 

PS: why do I stress on "genuine" care? Because we can care as a job, a procedure in exchange for something. It happens all the time... 

Comments

  1. Anonymous22/12/22 04:45

    Thought provoking write-up again!! Well done buddy - Adarsh

    ReplyDelete
  2. Shridhar24/12/22 19:46

    One can Care without Love, an action or activities done more as one's Duty or Commitment and going through them physically without one's heart & soul in them. Then it isn't Caring at all in the real sense.
    As such unconditional Love preceeds Care and all that matters is the genuine Love and Concern in one's Heart & Mind with or WITHOUT the physical actions or activities that generally conveys the Care aspects complementing the basic Love!
    To sum up, one can Care without Love, which is more of Duty, but one can't Care without Love in the first place!
    Loving Care can be even at the Thought level itself (as we all differ in our ability to shower the Care aspect in its physical / outwardly visible form based on the Resources at our disposal - be it Physical, Financial, Time or any other.)

    Lastly, while demonstrative Care helps, it is not always essential to demonstrate one's Love!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Vinod kd29/12/22 10:39

    We had a conversation at home about this topic because of your post srikanth. And the same sentiments that shridhar mentions cameup as well. Here's another constraint for not being able to express care by action: kids (us) not being able to care for our parents because we are far away from them. But we show care in ways we can, by making things easier for them with technology when we can. You know, like when you ordered cake for your kids birthday!

    As always, thought provoking!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Sreekanth6/1/23 11:38

    Sridhar - thank you for sharing your thoughts. I know a few Sridhars. I don't know who I am interacting with, but thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Sreekanth6/1/23 11:42

    Agreed KD. We do what we can to show our love. That is indeed a great thing. However, it will always be what we think is wanted, may not be what they are needing. It may not be possible to do anything else because of many circumstances in life. Such is life...

    ReplyDelete

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