20220519 : Asset... Liability... and end
When we are young (toddler, kids, adolescents), we are soaking up everything around us. Affection, education, professional skills, life skills, etc. Our partners and society in general look after us. They don't see us as a drain but an investment. Not monetarily, just socially - investment into the next generation.
When we become adults, till we can participate in any productive way - we contribute. We may be monetarily or materially compensated, but in general we contribute. Work, care, education, defence, whatever - we contribute.
We are an asset to the society.
After this period of being socially productive and contributions, I think we move to a self sufficient sustainable phase. If we have planned well, we may have a nest egg also. Else, we just sustain doing whatever is required.
In many places, there may be some sort of pension etc. Its a broad statement - but generally sustaining.
At some stage, we become weaker. Weaker physically, weaker mentally, weaker with resources maybe. We depend on others to do things for us, spend resources, spend time and energy on us etc. In most places the closest family bears this burden. In some places, the state provides the care.
Generally speaking - mostly everyone does this out of genuine affection and care . Nobody sees this as a burden.
However, it is definitely a drain on society. Time, energy, resources, whatever that may be - it's a drain.
We become a liability basically.
None of the above has a definite age for anything. Its just a phase we go through.
I don't know anyone who has beat this and evaded death finally.
Why do we have to wait for death to come? Why don't we go to it freely? Its not like we can hide from it forever. We will get caught eventually.
Once we know we have crossed the line and become a liability, why don't we go freely?
Whether we believe there is a door to somewhere, or hit the recycle bin, I would assume it is better to get there instead of hanging around.
In many cases, we go through physical problems and pain, illness and suffering, kicking and screaming - but get there eventually.
It's hard to get there ourselves, I understand that. Why are we not mature and understanding as individuals and a society to allow us to plan for this and walk to the eventuality..
Wouldn't it be so much better to pick a convenient date instead of being anxious every moment for days, months, years on end - waiting for the end.
Wouldn't it be better to plan and do many things and put them in order if there were a date instead of open ended speculation. We generally do things better and faster when there is a deadline.
Why do we prefer the hospital ICU with life support devices beeping away instead of some calming cocktail given to us and go to sleep - peacefully and without suffering.
If only we were mature as individuals and mature as a society to support this...
Hi Srikanth, when we come to this earth, we are an asset, the aim is not to become a liability with all our efforts, but there is something called destiny which is already prewritten and nothing can we do about it. All of us go through this cycle of birth and death numerous times without remembering what we went through in each of our lifespan. We need to put our best foot forward The aim is to do our best in whatever ways we can as we all know what goes around comes around. Just like how the beginning is not in our hands, the end too is not within our reach. We need to cross all the hurdles, achive what was intended in this life and reach there eventually. For some the end is peaceful and for some it is a suffering. Ultimately we need to achieve what we "decided to" and then only leave to our abode. Again with an agreement with HIM of our next journey, where ,how and when we want to begin. ..
ReplyDeleteIf we are “not anxious” to pick a date then we are also “not anxious” to wait for end. I think the key is why do we get anxious to meet the end we know will come?
ReplyDeleteChallenge with pick a date is - can we ever be firm on that? We always have multiple thought processes running in my mind and it is ever changing based on new inputs. Making this decision itself will create enough anxiety and conflict I think ..
Anonymous: For that, we need a lot of belief in God, destiny, rebirth etc.
ReplyDeleteIf we don't have such beliefs, the question becomes why?
Why go through all that after we think we have turned a liability?
Madhukar: I agree. That is the question. Why are we not mature enough to deal with it practically - knowing there is nowhere else to go eventually
ReplyDeleteTheory says “our attachments are the root reason for anxiety”. 😊
ReplyDeleteEx: I have a goal to buy a house next year. And recession is looming and I become anxious at various levels…
Rational outsider will say,
Recession might not happen
You won’t die of hunger but you can buy your house later on.. why you are stressed etc. etc.
but I can’t stop imagining “what ifs”. Each news item, discussion with friends on recession triggers this anxiety.. if “my want” was not there, then I would have been free of this anxiety.
in my life - there is lots of “wants” covering all dimensions - I.e work, family, friends, society, community, religion. This becomes a very complicated matrix and every “hint of death” I perceive is a “Danger” to all my wants/attachments and hence anxiety and unrational behaviour.
This matrix is different for each person and each person will have to understand his thought process to see the validity of anxiety.
Where this gets complicated is there are moral wants. “My son should not lie” normal viewing looks fair, rational and fine. But there is no value of “I” having a want of “my son should not lie”. There is no way I can control it.. his lies and truths are based on his thought process. Not mine and I tell lie myself but expect him to tell truth always.
A person who has reached a position of “No Wants” I think will not be anxious at the sight of death.
Not sure if I covered all bases.. but wanted to try to answer this.. 😊
Madhukar: I think anxiety and the controlling mindset is inversely proportional to age - at least it should be. Towards the later part, theoretically, it should become easier to let go...
ReplyDeleteGenerally I think that is the trend that we see.
ReplyDeleteBut it is certainly possible to cleanup our thought process of conflicts. By being aware of how we think and challenging our standard thought process.
PS: Theory says all thought is based on wrong premise and hence cause of suffering.
There are a few aspects guru. The topics you have raised are at the crux of the circle of life as it is usually termed, and there are a couple of aspects.
ReplyDeleteAsset, this is from a utility and self worth stand point. Which is an important aspect for that phase of life as you have rightly mentioned.
When measured with the same lens of utility for others and self-worth, the second phase becomes a liability. The other lens to look at this could be from a circle of life, and a service, duty bound mind set. Though it is a stage of liability from one lens for the person who is in that stage, it is also a stage for service and a duty bound situation for the other person helping out. Does the balance sheet match for the efforts of service and duty provided to the benefits received, may be not. May be this is where the karmic cycle might come into play to balance it out. It is very easy for me to say this and type, the real deal is when performing this act of duty and receiving the services. The mind asks a lot of questions, I think it is easier for the person performing the service to rationalize, and harder for the person receiving the services. The person receiving the services might say, Am I worth this. May be we measure the worth with a different lens, not a utility balance sheet but an aspect of service which might have been over due. I, in no way am saying that services has to be received with a sense of entitlement. I do not how should it be received, may be with a sense of deference. I don't think this conversation can have a quick conclusion, but can at least have an avenue for further discussion.
The next section is a tough one, about how to reach the end. This is a very tough one, this is bound by various things, moral compass, ethics, religious beliefs (the creator, god). Or should it be ? "Human cannot play god", and honestly as you mentioned in one of your blogs on God. People who have not experienced it, do not know about it. I have no clue, but have a belief, when put to real test will the belief hold up?
Should there be a criteria established based on the societal framework, which we are a part of, or should it be an individual based decision. I think there has been a similar discussion on the pro life aspects too. Is it the decision of the person giving birth, or is it the decision of the social fabric. Also more importantly would a person who is pro-life also be accepting of an individual deciding when to pass away. vice versa. Thought provoking for sure, I think about this but do not have an answer. May be there should be a criteria, but again should the criteria be established by the individual or the society.
Keep provoking our thoughts, keep challenging us to think hard. Keep it coming magaa.
PPK
Good thoughts ppk.
ReplyDeleteService mindset - i understand. However it can also be directed towards those individuals who feel their time is still there to do something. There are several opportunities there also. For somebody who is mature enough to have gone through life and wishes to go after peacefully, won't it be holding them back unnecessarily?
I think societal framework is defined by individuals. Its hard for the ones initiating change but it becomes the norm for future societal framework