20220509 : Social Media power

Couple of days back, I wished to share something.

I wrote on WhatsApp. it's a small bunch of people.

I put it up on my blog. This was more of a ritual - nobody visits it.

I shared it on a StrokeSupport group I am part of. It's off the main topic and unlikely more than a few would have read it.

I wished it to have a wider audience. I wished many more to know about the experience.

I realised I can't hide from social media anymore if I need the reach.

So, I visited one of them. A fairly established and well known one.

I was going there after a long time. A very very long time!

I don't have any of the SM apps on my phone. I didn't want to install it.

I logged in using the browser on the mobile.

And it hit me!

A flurry of updates, friend requests, notifications, chat messages etc. I felt overwhelmed with the busyness of the place! 

Somebody I know just had a baby, somebody I know moved somewhere, somebody I know has an anniversary, somebody 's birthday, so on..

There was a lot of pressure by myself on me to say something, to do something.

Then there are red light notifications everywhere - requests, messages, other notifications etc.

I was feeling dizzy dealing with all of it. Took me sometime to calm myself reminding myself I don't have to do anything about anything 🙂. 

Then I posted what I wanted to. I had to take a break soon after, as it was time for my physio.

Couple of hours later I opened the phone. 

There were comments, reactions, messages regarding the post. I was very tempted to respond to the comments but decided not to. Same for everything else.

Another break. When I saw again, more comments, more reactions, more messages.

I responded to the messages, sent a few myself.

I couldn't resist scrolling and looking through posts. There were so many updates from so many folks! Many who I know and many more I don't. There was a lot of catching up to do.

It was only when my nurses reminded me of something I had to do that I realised how long had passed.

Just a day earlier, I was contemplating how to make more room in my daily routine/ time table to gain more time for many things I do/ need to do - and here I was, whiling away my (precious) time.

After a couple of hours, I could see my mind getting restless wanting to go and check what more comments/ messages/ notifications/ posts had come up relevant to me.

Really? Till a day ago I was happy and without this concern. If this compulsive behaviour induced is not addiction, I don't know what is!

But there was a lot of benefit too. I was able to connect with many and it is certainly a very big stage to communicate.

Another aspect I could clearly see, is the start/ onset of negativity. I was very happy knowing things about so many, but I could also clearly feel the comparison/ contrasting building up gradually and subtly and it was bound to lead to a feeling of misery and depression about my life.

So, nothing new with these observations, it is very well known and scientifically proven.

To feel it creeping up was something.

I think SM has two facets.

In one, it is very useful to gain reach, to connect and communicate etc. It is working a lot for us.

Along the way, and it is a very subtle change over, we start working for it. Very hard!

Generally speaking, if we think I am strong, I can resist, I won't get addicted, etc. We are kidding and don't know what we are dealing with!

 So, what do I intend to do?

I will try using it and not get used by it. I have made some rules for myself:

1. I'll login when I have a purpose, do whatever I need to do, respond to messages and comments that need responding and leave.

2. If I have nothing to do, I will check once in a few days (I don't know what few is, maybe alternate days)

3. Never more than once a day 

4. Strictly time rationed - 15m max 

5. No getting lured by flashing lights and notifications, no scrolling posts, etc.

If I am not able to contain the compulsiveness and abide by the rules I have set, it's bye bye social media again...