20220325: my pilgrimage

Some days back, in the afternoon, I felt a bit uneasy in my abdomen area. I can't feel much there, so couldn't make out if it was my stomach or intestine or liver or something else.

Anyway, I wanted to be cautious so asked my nurses to reduce my feed volume. My wife also suggested I avoid the usual feed and have gangi (boile rice water) till i fell better.

I normally sit out on the wheelchair at 4pm and sit till 8pm. Sometimes even 9pm.

My bladder can hold a max of ~300ml. By 7pm, it is usual to have passed urine twice.

Not that day, it was 7pm and not even once. I was also feeling very tired and couldn't sit longer.

I thought if that much fluid (I had had full feeds till 2;30pm) had made it into my metabolic system surely the bladder world have given way.

If the intestine had absorbed it, and the kidneys had not filtered, i would be bloating - especially at the ankles. That was not the case.

I had also felt a bit gassy in the abdomen, but if it was stomach gas, it would have come out from the mouth.

So I assumed it was in the gut, and I had some infection in the gut, so a bout of loose motions followed by fever was in order.

At 7pm i wanted to be moved back to bed.

Usually, the nurses help me stand from the wheelchair to the standing contraption. After that they make the sheet, underpad etc ok on the bed. Then one of them stands in front of me and the contraption, the other is behind me, supporting my back. Then with their support, I take 1 step turn, and 2 steps back. By then the back of my knees is aligned with the bed in the spot I need and I sit on the bed. Afterwards they lift the legs, align me etc .

Not that day, when I had to take those steps, I was so drained, I could not move my legs.

I just collapsed. I didn't fall to the ground. The nurse at the back somehow held onto my weight (whatever it is now) and the other joined.

They somehow dragged me the distance and one of them had to do a WWF manoeuvre to roll me onto bed. They were understandably shaken and almost in tears. They felt relieved after i indicated I was ok and in one piece.

8pm, next feed time. Still no urine. Where was it all going .

After 9pm I stared feeling very uneasy again. I was ready for the flood gates to open and loose motions to start.

About 9:15 I could feel the abdomen area tighten. More uneasiness.

At 9:20 it finally released. To my horror, the dam hadn't burst. The volcano had erupted instead. 

4 feeds in all, over 1200ml. Nothing had gone past the stomach.

The body was struggling to throw up. It doesn't have the vomit and gag reflex to do the job. It did what it could. Hence the tiredness.

Normally it is a good thing. A sence of relief after throwing up after an upset stomach. 

It is if it all comes out. In this case, half of it would have gone into the wind pipe(trachea)

If it is a small quantity of foreign matter, there is enough secretion to engulf it and cough it out.

Not this much. It must have gone all over the lungs.

So I started coughing. Nothing much was coming out. But i was coughing reflexively.

Past 11pm, I was still coughing.

By now every part of my chest and abdomen were hurting because of constant squeezing to cough.

Hang on, isn't it great. I haven't felt my abdomen or chest in 3 years. Ok, not a great time for that celebration.

Continue coughing.

The cough was getting feeble now. The abdomen was cramping and not being able to support the cough.

I don't know what the time was. I couldn't keep the eyes open.

I could constantly hear the words "saturation" and "temperature".

I couldn't see it myself as it was on my right hand and at an angle not visible to me. I couldn't care less.

I don't know when it was, but I heard my cousin's voice. He is the lucky person who gets the pleasant calls at this hour. His luck charm - he stays in the same building.

After sometime, i could feel tubes going up my nose. So they should have connected the oxygen concentrator. So the saturation must have gone below 90.

Still same talk..

Then I heard my wife talking to the doctor and whether I should be brought to the hospital.

From the reactions and conversation from this side, I think he might have said - no need if I am maintaining 90 with the concentrator.

But the talk didn't end with my cousin. It was not a time for casual talk. So even with the concentrator, it had to be somewhere mid 80s.

Then I could hear a lot of "hospital" and "ambulance".

Lower 80s then.

I opened my eyes and indicated no. It was a bleak resistance. A battle that was lost before it began. I just lodged a protest anyway.

I next heard the voice of a very good friend. A very lucky fellow. I have 3 such lucky friends. He is the luckiest of them. His luck charm - staying 10min from our house - probably quicker at whatever hour it was.

After sometime, I could hear the stretcher

I hate stretchers. Most of them can't be elevated to prop up the head. Lying flat only increases aspiration and cough.

This one was james bond style.

After shifting me onto it, the guy did something and it not only elevated the back and head but also the leg part folded down. It magically transformed into a sort of a wheelchair. I was brought down sitting to the ambulance.

In the ambulance the legs remained straight, but i could sit up.

The ambulance guy fastened me with 2 belts very tight and securely. That should have given me a clue.

He drove like Ansel Engort in the movie "Baby Driver".

The nurse was with me inside the ambulance. Below my waist was fastened, but above the waist it was doing a snake dance. She was struggling to keep me from falling.

Finally we arrived. My annual pilgrimage destination...