20220206 : 3rd Strokevarsary!

Today is my 3rd strokeversary.

1,095 days (well 1,095.75 days 🙄).

 Unbelievable for me, but I have survived another year. 

It has been a hard year! 

Physically - it has been what it has been. 

Mentally - it has been much much harder!

I could not have made it without the Love, affection, patience and care of my Wife, my Kids, my Family, my Friends, my therapist, my several nurses, my various Doctors, support of many of you well wishers and lastly (but not the least) - our Dog!

Rather than write some boring stuff describing my experiences the last year (which I have done no short job of - I assume), I thought I should share a sort of - objective view of the progress in the last year. 

A sort of "Report Card" on the year if you will.

Everything here is also subjective. But I have converted the subjectivity to a scale of 0 - 10, simply because we generally understand numbers better than long descriptions.

10 does not denote something is fully working fine. It just signifies it matched my hope fully in that aspect this year. 

Also, to be fair to the process of rehab - I have given marks to both "effort" and "outcome" I hoped for.

So here goes:

* Head/ mind:

Effort: 10

Outcome: 10

Comments: my hope was that I don't go mad in the year. I think I have managed to stay sane. Although it is rare for a mad person to acknowledge themselves as mad. So it's debatable.🤷🏽‍♂️

* Face:

Effort: 8

Outcome: 6

Comments: whenever I am able to, I keep trying to move various parts. However, not much I can move yet. Most of my face still feels like wood/ cardboard . But folks who visit me, tell me I am looking better. I can't make out, but not everybody can be lying about the same thing everytime.

* Neck:

Effort: 8

Outcome: 6

Comments: been at it. Sometimes I forget. Too much bending down because of the phone usage. The head keeps falling to one side. Better than a year ago though.

* Trunk:

Effort: 7

Outcome: 4

Comments: this is the back. I have been doing my physio, sitting, some standing etc daily. I am still unable to feel the back much though. Lower back seems stronger, no control over upper back yet.

* Torso (chest, abdomen):

Effort: 5

Outcome: 0

Comments: still can't feel chest or abdomen. So ya... 

* Right hand:

Effort: 5

Outcome: 3

Comments: I just do what I am told to do during physio. Very rigid and spastic otherwise. Some very gradual movements in shoulder and triceps. No joy otherwise.

* Left hand:

Effort: 10

Outcome: 7

Comments: been at it all the time. Has improved much. Shoulder still weak and limited range of motion. But it feels better/ stronger.

* Waist/ hips:

Effort: 8

Outcome: 5

Comments: have been doing whatever in physio. Sit everyday, stand everyday, have increased wheelchair time. It has improved a bit no doubt - but very little. Still does a snake dance when trying to stand.

* Right leg:

Effort: 8

Outcome: 4

Comments: doing what I can.very little improvement though. Feel I could have done more.

* Left leg:

Effort: 8

Outcome: 6

Comments: effort wise, I think I have been ok. Sometimes I forget to keep moving it. Have a practical problem tho' - when I am on the mobile, it is on my thigh and can't move it. A bit disappointed with the results though. Has become a little stronger, but very little in flexibility and range of motion.

* Speech:

Effort: 5

Outcome: 1

Comments: tricky one this. I know I should try more. I know the vocal chords will get stronger. The hurdles to try more are the jaw tightness and what I feel is excess saliva secretion. Those are hurdles to overcome. The bigger challenge is being unable to breathe enough. Can't inhale enough, can't exhale with force and can't control/coordinate the breath to generate voice...

* Swallowing:

Effort: 7

Outcome: -5

Comments: this is the only area that has gone negative. I fight every afternoon - it has only become worse. I would have given a 10 for effort - but feel a 10 would be attempting 4-5 times throughout the day.

Those are the visible/ evident things. There are many invisible things - which are even more subjective.most of these have effort as "NA" - basically because I didn't do anything

11. Emotional stability:

Effort: NA

Outcome: 8

Comments: outbursts have reduced quite a bit.

12. Digestion:

Effort: NA

Outcome: 6

Comments: has gotten better I think. Going by 2 indicators. Reduced frequency of upset stomachs/ loose motions and once in a while, feel a bit of hunger if it has been long after feed.

13. Incontinence 1:

Effort: NA

Outcome: 0

Comments: there are some exercises, but since I can't feel my abdomen, can't do any. The incontinence has gotten worse.

14. Incontinence 2:

Effort: NA

Outcome: 10

Comments: not in my remotest dreams did I think I would not need to use enemas. Sure, I still have absolutely no control, but the constipated uneasy feeling for days is gone.

15. Hearing:

Effort: 10

Outcome: 10

Comments: my hearing on right ear is still about 4/10.

But I tried something crazy and saw some crazy results as well.

16. Breathing control:

Effort: 5

Outcome: 0

Comments: well, I have been at the spirometer, the whistles and the candle everyday for over a year now. No change. I have given a 5 for effort simply because I could do more number of times during the day and looked for other exercises. Thing is, I don't think I can achieve much till the body is ready and responds even a bit. So I am just doing the deed and keenly watching the canary in the coal mine.

17. Smell:

Effort: NA

Outcome: 4

Comments: just watching. Can't do anything. Moving in the right direction, very slowly.

18. Taste:

Efforts: NA

Outcome: 0

Comments: well, can do something if I could swallow. Right now I guess the taste buds are experiencing "use it or lose it" effect.

19. Sight:

Effort: 0

Outcome: 0

Comments: left eye is much worse - non stroke related though. 

Right eye has also deteriorated - natural things I feel, not stroke related. Only trace of stroke I think is double vision and inability to see/ focus on fast moving things. No change there.

20. Sleep:

Effort: NA

Outcome: 8

Comments: have done nothing. Sleep is fine. Some rare days, I don't fall asleep. But mostly fine.

21. Balance:

Effort: NA

Outcome: 6

Comments: don't know if I could have done something. It seems to be heading in the right direction though. Big change compared to days I would feel like I am falling even when lying in bed. Now, the loss of balance occurs when I turn the head fast. Otherwise ok.

22. Thermal control:

Effort: NA

Outcome: 2

Comments: still very little change. I don't feel hot like others. Once in a while, I feel cold. It will be in line with the nurses wearing sweater etc. So it must be heading in the right direction.

So, that's the Report Card/ progress report for year 3 in various subjects.

 Luckily, nobody is held back in this course. Just get pushed to the next year if you make it to the end of the year...  

So I start year 4 from today.

When I started year 3, I had a bunch of hopes. For this year, I have only one. That by some hook or crook or some other miracle, the brain  will connect the dots and learn to swallow.

Everything else is either moving in the right direction or is a matter of time - longer maybe, but will make some small progress in that direction...

Thank you for your time and support and wishes all along. 🙏🏼