20211127 : what happened to me really

When I got to some ability to comprehend (about 4-5 weeks), I was told I had a stroke. (I am sure everyone would have told me earlier too - but nothing would have gone in)

Everyone around me had that lead time to do any research, understand it in detail and know the details of what had happened to me.

I on the other hand, knew the the summary - "I had a stroke".

Generally aware and informed about many things, but I had spent my entire lifetime being ignorant about this aspect. I had absolutely no idea what a stroke is.

So I knew I had a stroke. But I was perplexed as to what had really happened to me. On some instances in the past, when someone had said someone had a stroke, I had just assumed it was something with the heart. I had never bothered to find out more about it.

Then I was told I had a surgery and they removed a colt from the brain. I found it hard to understand as I couldn't see any visible bandages or scars on my head (or near the heart). If they had to operate the head, they would have to have shaved my head (or my chest if it was the heart). Anyway I could not feel anything nor could I see anything.

Then, I overheard some conversation that there were no medicines for this. That sounded crazy...

Then everyone started tell me everything was upto me and I had to have a strong mind and will etc, etc.

I had no clue what it meant or what I should be doing.

So for about 18 months or so, till I could handle the phone, I stayed guessing. Only after that, I knew what really happened to me.

One of my aunts, who I knew well, passed away suddenly in mar 2020 I think. I was told a year later. It was obviously to shield me from the bad news in case I am not able to handle it. But that set me off wondering - what else was I not being told for my own good?

My dad used to come daily to see me. His leg used to be bandaged always. I was told what was wrong. But I was always wondering how much have I been told? What was the real deal?

Same thing when he had Covid and had to be admitted to the hospital. Although I was being told he was ok, I was not sure what to believe...

I don't know the data, but I would bet 99% of the people are like I was - blissfully unaware of what a stroke is.

Of that 1% who know what it is, would know only because someone they know closely had a stroke and they were exposed to the details or they dug out more details to find out more after the event.

It's important to be aware of what a stroke is and how to recognise the symptoms. Undoubtedly important.

But what about the person who had the stroke. Most stroke survivors can't even comprehend/ understand straight.

I think somebody who knows the real deal, once the survivor can understand, should explain in detail what happened, what to expect, etc. Unless of course someone is unstable and can't handle it.

Otherwise, it is a perpetual mystery to the survivor.

Of course if somebody is able to themselves - that will be the first topic of research they will do..

And not telling stuff or partial things, . Everything will be taken with a pinch of salt for a long time...if someone can handle it - probably best to tell everything.... 

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I got quite a few folks ask me - how to determine if someone can handle it - all situations.

I think that is a very fair question. Each case is very different also.

In my case, where I could move little, could not speak and no means to express myself - it would have been next to impossible. Besides, I was constantly going in and out of depression and on anti-depressants most times. My mood was not my mood but an assisted altered mood.

So, I revise my view about what can be shared with folks. It's truly very hard and upto individual case to case.

I however do feel survivors of stroke (or an episode leading to brain damage), should be explained in detail what really happened.

Most other ailments folks can understand when told or ask. Even with something affecting the mind - most things are progressive and folks have the potential to understand initially what will happen. With a stroke or an accident leading to a brain damage - it is too sudden to comprehend...