20211002 : Expectations, obligations and Charity

I have had some very positive experiences recently whilst dealing with the customer care of a very big establishment. All on emails and chat... 

It is a big establishment and they should be well trained with a good process undoubtedly. However, I have had the same positive experience in the last year with many places, big and small.

Even when I had ordered a piece of furniture at the turn of the year, and I was not very happy with the product and very unhappy with the delivery/installation, I got very patient customer service. Again, all over email and chat.

When I could speak earlier, I have not had this same experience. I can only deduce, that my impatience/ irritation / anger at times, was very evident in my voice and folks were only reciprocating my behavior..

Why was I not showing the patience that I was expecting back? Why did it not register that the other end of the line had a person first and the organization next.

Why expect good behaviour when I was not doing the same...

It is some sort of unwritten/ unstated social contract or obligation I presume. 

Much like online shopping which is widespread nowadays. The first thing I look for in products before purchasing - is the ratings and reviews (that seem genuine at least). It is an unstated obligation too that I write reviews after. That I contribute to the pool if I feel free to dip into it.

Its like the wikipedia, it's only good to use as long as folks contribute to it first.

I think the same holds good for relationships. With family, with friends, smaller groups of community or broader society in general...

We have to give first to a relationship to hope for anything back. If we want understanding, help and support from anybody, we have to first volunteer for providing it.

When it is a financial transaction, the equation is easy. We have to deposit first to make a withdrawal. Investment first for financial returns later.

But what about non financial stuff. Where we give feelings, emotions, etc. The returns are also in abstract forms..

Most times it is not even the same terms. If we put energy (I guess it's a complex mix of time, effort and emotion for example), we may get back something else - like trust, loyalty, friendship, affection or some other similar stuff in return.

Key being, to give first and maybe we may get a return later.

Like most things, returns are not guaranteed. Just have to invest with no expectations of returns...

How to move on to true charity - being truly anonymous in giving, with no expectations of returns, no recognition whatsoever. Absolutely no strings attached.

Much like a very old person planting mango trees. Won't see the fruit or the shade in their lives...

But I guess one thing we get back is happiness/ satisfaction. 

Don't know if it is ok to expect that in return too....