20210701 : Success

One of my friends asked me this morning "what is Success"? 

I am not sure if there is a definite thing or one definition for being successful.

I feel it's a constantly moving goalpost and different for different folks.

I think when we are very young, toddlers really, there is no such concept even.

When we become a little bigger, middle childhood basically, I think success is doing well what gives happiness to our primary carers. Parents mostly. Could also be grandparents, teachers or anybody who cares enough.

In the adolescent world, teenage basically, i think the need to find acceptance with peer groups, friends, classmates drives most of our definition of success. If we "fit-in" and seem "Cool" to our group, then it's success for us.

As we get to the young adult phase, probably the more productive stage, i think success is defined more by the broader society we live in. More so, the group we believe we have a common mindset with. However, i think at this stage, it's no longer about fitting in. Its more about standing out. Achieving more in the field we are in maybe defines it. Nowadays I think, most things are reduced to a common denominator which is economic success mostly.

I think our middle ages or mid-life is the most troublesome. It probably is a slow understanding but feels like a sudden realisation that it doesn't matter. I guess it questions the definition of our Success all along. It questions what was the point of running so much when we've suddenly found out there are no winners. I guess that's why it's called a mid life crisis. When folks do unpredictable things. I don't know what Success means in that phase. It's also a phase when we realise we have peaked with our physical abilities. We don't usually recognise the peak, but we recognise the downhill has begun. We feel less stronger, less agile, less fast, etc.

I guess it triggers a sense of wanting to know the purpose. Our purpose specifically. Maybe folks who feel that they have found that purpose and are able to reorient themselves towards that feel successful. I am not sure....

Old age, i have no clue. I'm taking a wild guess here. Maybe it's the stage when we feel or realise there was no purpose after all. When getting simple daily things is an achievement. I don't know what defines success then. I guess the small things always taken for granted and unnoticed gets attention and mean a lot. Knowing someone cares about us should mean a lot. But I don't know what defines someone feeling Successful.

Either ways, I think the common thread, even though it's a moving goalpost, is probably the feeling we are in the game. Yes, kicking a few goals gives a sense of achievement, but its a sense of happiness to be playing the game....

 I feels a lot worse to feel we are dropped from the game or not play...