20210909 : dealing with patients

Some days back, my high school friend contacted me on chat. I used to meet a bunch of them often. Social media reunion. It used to be fun. There used to be a overactive WhatsApp group.

They were a bunch of very networked and informed group. So they would have surely known about my stroke.

The language and tone of interaction made it certain that he knew. Yet the chat was dancing around the main thing.

After so long, amongst so many of them in that group, he had mustered up the courage to make contact, yet the poor fellow was clearly struggling to ask the question how I was doing now.

I remember, there was a Cancer Survivor in that group. He had a relapse sometime close to my stroke. I had met him a few times in the group. But I never had the courage to meet him alone. Never had the courage to ask him directly how he was and about his illness.

But seriously, how do we do it, interact when uncomfortable? There is no training for it. All the time when we are growing up, mostly, these are shielded from us. The adults don't give direct answers to kids and it is usually brushed aside. Suddenly everyone grows up to face these situations and will struggle with it. I'm sure Google might have some suggestions but honestly, who will think of going there?

After my stroke, and having seen people struggle through this, I feel it should be direct. Any avoiding the topic will make it worse. For both parties. But that's just me. 

But how do we inculcate it in the next generation? Talking about these things more openly? Letting them meet affected folks and face these situations more when growing up? I really am not sure...

Clearly there isn't much they are learning by observing most of us🙂

Reminds me of a very funny thing.

When I was in the hospital back in 2019. there were many duty doctors or newbies or interns maybe who would visit the ward. It was a constant stream of 'white coats'.

Most of them (except my main and regular ones) would have any clue of my case, my condition, my background etc. They would ask me something. I could not reply. I would just stare back or enormously struggle with just moving fingers and wrist and a bobbing head to respond and convey something. Obviously it would have made no sense. So they would come close to me, closer to my ear, speak louder but slower so I could understand.

I remember feeling very frustrated and a very demeaning feeling each time.

So, in late 2020 when back in the hospital, I was ready. Nobody was with me to put a leash on me either.

So when the revolving door started again, and some poor soul under the white coat came in. I would behave in some absurd way. In absolutely no correlation to what they were asking. They would get so perplexed . Oh those faces. I am sure they were wondering why I was there and not in some psychiatric ward.🙂

The nurse I had was very uncomfortable speaking in English or speaking to anyone looking authoritative was out of the question. I was banking on her not saying something and ruining my entertainment..😂