20210902 : aches & pains

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For the past 2 days, I have got some very bad headaches. After the stroke, I have rarely had any all this while. Few rare instances here and there. Very mild ones. Before my stroke, it was a regular feature. I used to have a strip of tablets with me always.

I don't think I have not been having them, I have them just as frequently. I just am unable to feel it. The pain receptor circuitry is probably fried. 

From a few months into my stroke, my right shoulder has been very sublexed due to the muscles having fully wasted and atrophied and the arm dangling without support all the time. I could see the arm away from the shoulder socket very much. It was excruciating. Only to see, for I could feel nothing and no pain .
It looks much better now with my physiotherapist constantly ensuring it is supported and regular taping. But I look forward to the pain, when it comes...

These aches and pains keep starting, with no change in routine, diet, sleep, etc. I can only assume it was always there but I couldn't feel it till then.

Some of them mild, others unbearable but pleasurable all of them. For I can feel it , and hope sensation will return there.

Since last night around 1:00AM, I have a very intense burning sensation in my right foot. It was very unbearable for several hours. I felt like I was standing on a bed of burning embers of coal. If I could scream, I would have brought the roof down. I had to keep chanting all night reminding myself "your leg is fine, its only the head. Your leg is fine, it's only the head"...

I still have that burning sensation, but its a 100 times lesser and very ignorable.

Few days back, I had a very bad shoulder muscle pain. It was quite bad 1st day. Much better now with stretches by my physiotherapist, ointment, and ice packs application.

But really, there was nothing new from everyday routine. I don't know if the muscle was paining, or my brain was manufacturing it. I don't know if I nursed the muscle or it was a phychological treatment for which my mind responded.

I might have a generally ok mind. But it is certainly impossible for me to know what is real vs what is real only for me...

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