20210508 : my carers

I have had at least some 25 Nurses/Attenders at home till date. I'm sure a greater number are to come in the future too...

For atleast a year, we had only male folk. Then came the lockdown suddenly last year and as an act of desperation to get someone overnight, reluctantly, I settled for a female nurse. 

Soon we realised she was doing better than the accompanying male nurse (who was a lunatic in his own right, who we had to bring to Mumbai in an equal or more desperate situation). He was replaced with another guy who had his share of issues...

So we replaced him with another female nurse (who proved to be very good and stayed the longest too).

We realised soon after that they worked well together and more importantly, everyone in the house is more relaxed and comfortable with women in the house (and Leia too)

So, from the past year, it has been only women nurses exclusively. 

I have also requested for replacing some of the guys earlier for their antics which there has been no such circumstances since...

It normally takes me 2-3 days to assess the nurses we get. In my mind, it resolves to two things. You can think of it as a traditional 2 dimention rating (although i don't assign a numeric rating or so). I just know where one falls..

The 1st is what i sense as their ability: which is composed of many things. Whether they are qualified (whether they have been trained), whether they have experience (have they done this before), have they done home care before (hospital experience sounds glamorous, but they have a lot of help there, most difficult things are done by 'ward boys' and at home care, they have to do everything themselves). It goes without saying that home care experience is better. Whether they understand english and how much. Another very important factor is their ability to deal with ambiguity (in home care, they are bound to face many new situations, when that happens, can they think on their feet or will they be a deer in headlights). 

The other side is what I'd call "Service mindset".it is not complex like the first one, and easier to assess this dimention. Whether they are doing a job or are they dedicated to Service. Its very easy to distinguish between genuine work vs the 'Shortcut' mindset.

The 1st quality also guides me in what i communicate with them, the complexity eg. language of my communication, the amount of details i have to give etc.

However the 2nd quality trumps the 1st hands down. There have been many who have scored poorly in the 1st quality (basically completely new) but they have fared very well on the 2nd quality.. the vice-versa, while we haven't had in the female nurses, I'm sure would be very painful...

In this assessment, i have seen a pattern, a very broad brushed generalization. Call me prejudiced or racist if you will, but i have seen this in my personal experience and observations. Female carers from a certain region and a certain faith have proved to be better than others. They score particularly high on the 2nd quality.

Most of the girls are in their early-mid twenties, single, handling a complete stranger, a middle aged male patient, staying in someone else's house 24x7 (most of them haven't gone out of the house since they have come in till their last duty day), Doing things everyday round the clock (which frankly our nearest and dearest will hesitate to think of doing) Adjusting to this can't be easy.

They all will have dreams and aspirations which they have to supress and adjust to this reality. Only they know their compulsion to be willing for this..

 I remind myself each time i feel like being difficult or throwing tantrums of this and helps me behave...

 Sometimes I feel miserable as it feels like a form of exploitation...

The region they come from influences ability as they have more training centres, more people whom they know in the same profession to lean on to for guidance etc.

I have wondered though, why the faith factor influences 2nd quality.. is it fear of something to be denied or is it scoring brownie points for a more assured better things to come, or just a continued and continuous upbringing to develop this mindset..

I don't know the answer to that... 

Whatever it is, I'm thankful and very grateful everyday, all the time...