Mind of my Stroked Brain

When I had my stroke and was able to understand anything coherently, I was told that my neurosurgeon (just after the procedure) had said that I will have hiccups and difficulty balancing because of where I suffered the stroke. I knew what the hiccups meant - but I was not ready (mentally or physically) for what was really in store. I have written earlier about my bouts of hiccups which have festered for days. I still get them - they usually persist for a day but letting up every 1-2 hrs before restarting again. The balance thingy I could not understand. These were the days I was a complete vegetable and could not communicate in any manner to ask what it meant. Nor was I able to get online to research and understand what it meant. Firstly, I needed to know what a stroke was to begin with 😂 All my schooling and adult understanding life. I have understood that the inner ears are what are responsible for balance. Here I was being told I had some stroke in the head and I will not have bala

When you brush your teeth in the morning, do you remember if you keep your eyes opened or closed initially when you take the brush to the teeth? Check tomorrow morning if you are not sure 🙂 before my stroke, I used to have my eyes closed when I started brushing. I don't know why I used to do it, but that is what I did. Maybe it is some sort of a reflex to close the eyes when we open the mouth wide - I don't know. For about 3½+ years I didn't brush my teeth. It was cleaned by my nurses with some gauze dipped in mouthwash and cleaning what they could with artery scissors. In the last couple of months I have been using an electric toothbrush as I have the strength to hold it and move it around a bit. I still can't use toothpaste as I can't rinse my mouth with water. I still just dip the toothbrush in mouthwash and swirl it around a bit.  Every morning I think about this - because I keep my eyes open when I start now.  Even with my eyes open wide, I am unable to bring

First everybody world over were growing food. You rarely got to eat foods that were not from our locales. But that changed over the centuries. With increasing connectivity routes and transportation options - everyone got access to everything. Which is great. This however meant very gradually people only started growing stuff in their spaces what was easy (economically less expensive) and profitability. Soon agriculture focussed jobs reduced. It definitely still exists - we still need food. But the shift made people to go find something else to do. After a while, manufacturing jobs bloomed everywhere propelled by the industrial revolution - everyone had something to do. Blue collar jobs everywhere. Soon what could be done in one place, could be done elsewhere as well. Manufacturing moved to more convenient places (inexpensive supply, abundance of labour, etc) - more economically viable and profitable places. Thus blue collar jobs shifted. Within the countries, overseas etc. So we had lo

You may have heard of Phantom - Phantom of the limbs i.e. Phantom limb is a syndrome felt by many who have lost a limb. Could be a hand or leg - which has been lost in war, accident or something else and had to be amputated. Basically they sometimes feel the lost limb - strange feelings in the limb or pain in the limb, etc - even though the limb is not there. Its not an easy problem to solve - how can we cure a hand or leg that is not there. It happens because the nerve endings of the lost limb, where it is amputated, sometimes send vague messages up to the brain. The person does not see the limb, so their mind agrees but the brain is still seeing the limb sometimes because it is getting signals. It is a very confusing feeling when the mind and brain don't agree . I don't know Phantom, but I am very familiar with his alter-ego. I have two limbs and various pieces of real estate on my body which are his home. Take my right hand as an example. I can see it . I can touch it with m

Once in a while, I entertain myself interacting with chatGPT from open AI. It has been a while - it doesn't allow me to login as it is always overloaded. Today morning, I got an audience. Couple of days back - somebody who I know had informed me that they were anaemic . So I thought I'll ask it what would be good to eat. I asked a fairly loose question and it replied with some loose information. I realised this person does not have meat. So I changed the question to a more specific one.  __________ Q> What vegetarian food can we eat to increase hemoglobin ? I expected a vague answer like earlier. However, this is what I got: A> To increase hemoglobin levels, you can eat foods rich in iron, vitamin B12, and folic acid. Some vegetarian options that are high in these nutrients include: Iron: Spinach, kale, Swiss chard, collard greens, dried apricots, raisins, fortified cereals, legumes (lentils, chickpeas, beans), tofu, tempeh Vitamin B12: Fortified plant-based milks and br

Couple of days back - I was chatting with a good friend of mine. I was told we become wise, like "really wise" only when we turn 50. I was very thrilled - I will find real wisdom in a couple of years. (I can't help but imagine that "inner peace" moment in kung fu panda 🙂) I was intrigued by it though. What was the reason behind the milestone... A few more exchanges - I still did not get what I was looking for. But I could feel the conviction in the messages. So, I thought about it as well. This is what I think it is (I may not be entirely right but it is what I think): I think we all tend to lead most of our lives like it will go on forever. Anything we have to do, want to do, can do now - can always be done later also. It somehow seems there is a lot of time. Life is ahead of us not behind to keep looking in the rear view mirror.  At some stage a switch comes on. I think it is a combination of age, general health, general strength and most importantly - some e

6th February back again!  4 years today. 1,460 days (1,461 actually - leap year inbetween 🙂) Why does it seem to me like 4y is a long time but 1,461 days feels less? Seemed like it last year too. I don't know if others feel the same thing. It's my 4th Strokeversary as referred to in our the Stroke Support Group that I am part of ... It's actually the 4th death anniversary of mine.  It is also the 4th birthday of mine...  "The king is dead, long live the king" types... Worried about the 2nd part of that slogan becoming real though.... I am a strange being with the mind of a 47y+ old and the body of a 4y old...  So how was last year for me? Physically speaking, going in the right direction. Extremely extremely slow, painfully slow, frustratingly slow - but the needle is moving and moving in the right direction. The only gauge where the needle has not moved (moved in the wrong direction actually) is with swallowing. Big one that! Unfortunately there has been no enco