Mind of my Stroked Brain

I don't think I have really understood before the stroke what it means or does to your state of mind when you loose you ability to do things which i used to do so comfortably, confidently and took for granted..  Sure when i came across someone with an affected ability, i was compassionate and empathetic, but i truly had never understood as it was only an intellectual understanding and the real feeling is not possible to explain. While i was thinking about this, I realised that it's not only stroke or any other ailments, but very true for the process of getting old and frail as well. Its the same thoughts and feelings and getting dependent on others for things which once you could do..  Memories of younger days must come to haunt everytime.. So, when old aged people are stubborn, difficult, unreasonable or any other adjective, they are not acting crary, i imagine they ARE going crazy dealing with this emotion/ feeling. It's very hard for stroke patients because of the sudden

Hello all, Apologies in advance as this will kick up some dust or offend others. But its a thought thats been bothering me for a long time now and rather than avoid it, as i was not coming up with any answers, i thought I should put it out and see if i find something... It's a very philosophical question, but very real and not hypothetical .. When i had my stroke, i was depressed, frustrated, desperate, etc. and hoped everyday would somehow be the last .. just couldn't bear the thought of carrying on... It could have been anyone, i just pulled the short straw... Fast forward 26 months and I'm no longer depressed, or desperate, or frustrated , but the thought of "pulling the plug" remains... Now, its a very rational and pracital question... For more than 2 years i have seen everyone around me struggle. The emotional burden i have become and not to mention the financial ruin i have set everyone in... Of course everyone around me will deny its a problem and carry on.

So, this is on a very interesting note.... I have for the past sometime, observed the malayalam accent (at close quarters) 😊 Even if folks know english (or any other language) well, the accent is so prevalent no matter.. So my conclusion is as follows: What we think as accent change is not accent change at all. They replace few syllables with other equivalents , and i think they do it because those sounds or syllables dont exist in the malayalam alphabet ( their equivalent of swaras and vynjanas). It's like the Japanese. Their alphabet doesnt have the sound "LA" (ಲ) so they replace it with "RA" (ರ) . So something like 'low' becomes 'row'. Similarly i feel these are the 4 main transformations that happens (there could be more, but i feel these are main) 1. 'TA' (ತ/ಟ) gets replaced by 'DA' (ಡ) 2. 'NA' (ನ) gets replaced by 'NA' (ಣ) 3 'LA' (ಲ) gets replaced by 'LA' (ಳ) 4. 'O'/ 'OH' (ಒ)